June 1, 2005

The uncomfortable place

I'm really questioning what I want to do with my life these days.

Specifically, I'm wondering whether I'd be happier pursuing a career that may consume me along the lines of my natural talents where I stand a chance (albeit miniscule, and totally unappreciated unless it's completely born out) of being a star or would I prefer a career where I like but don't love the work, find it interesting but not consuming, and find some of the day-to-day responsibilities difficult for me because they are contrary to my native state, oh, and where I know I'll never be a super star (but damn my non-work life would rock)?

E thinks I'll definitely choose one of my options over the other. E also refuses to tell me what that option is. So, I forced E to write down the choice and we put it in an envelope, dated and initialed by each of us. After I finally accept a job, the loser of the wager will take the winner out to dinner at the restaurant of the winner's choosing.

It's a much bigger decision than it sounds: destroying and fighting versus building and growing, delivering quick-clever blows versus constructing slow, dim-witted shields, interacting with people who choose their careers for comfort versus those who choose them for passion, and many other decisions. Each carries its own positives and negatives. Each is huge. And in the end, it's not up to me. It all depends on whether they want to hire me.

Regardless, I'll be sure to keep you in the loop about the eventual decision and more importantly, the restaurant (two words: french laundry. I hope E is wrong...)

No comments: