Recipe Free Deliciousness
One of my favorite things about having put in time learning how to cook is that I can do it without guidance. I can just look at a bunch of ingredients and come up with an experiment that will be edible.
Just how edible... well, that's where the fun lies. Sometimes, it's an investment to be paid off later. And sometimes, like tonight, those investments pay off.
So, if you ever happen to have these random ingredients lying around (doubtful, we certainly never have before tonight), then by all means, enjoy. If not, feel free to improvise.
Okra Serrano Crustless Quiche
First, pre-heat an oven to 400F.
-1 lb okra, washed and chopped into 1/4-1/2 inch rounds.
-1/2 white onion chopped
-handfull of serrano peppers, stems removed, chopped finely, seeds left in (note: be sure to remove your contacts before this step, or wear gloves)
-olive oil, for baking
-1/2 can stewed tomatoes (full can would probably be fine)
1. Mix ingredients above in a pyrex dish (10X13 or so) and toss on the top shelf of the pre-heated oven for 20 minutes or so.
-3 eggs
-1/2 cup heavy cream
-2 T garlic salt
-4 T polenta grano turco
-1/8 block of cotija, crumbled
-other half a can of stewed tomatoes (if the whole can was used in step 1, no worries).
2. Mix ingredients above. Pour over roasted vegetables in pyrex dish (which has been removed from oven) and stir until evenly coated.
3. Return pyrex dish to oven. 15 minutes later, check with a toothpick and if clean, remove. If not clean, return to oven until toothpick is clean in all soft areas, then remove. Allow to cool.
4. Use a spatula to cut squares for each person to be served. Serve warm.
Mmmm.... comfort food. I can't express the sense of satisfaction I feel when I am able to create something new that feels old and comfortable and delicious and nurturing for E and me. Tonight, it had the fun property of being just on the edge between healthy food and not-so-healthy food. Okra is a vegetable, albeit a high glycemic index one. Tomatoes are healthy. Olive oil? Check (at least in moderation). Salt? Well, we won't tell anyone. And the polenta? Well...grano turcro is very healthy... or so I'm told.
So truly, this meal is a dream. It looks and sounds and even reads like a healthy meal, but at the end of the day, what's stickin' to your ribs is heavy cream, egg yolk, salted soft mexican cheese, and some corn grains.
Well... if that doesn't send me off in search of nirvana...
August 29, 2007
August 26, 2007
A word to the wise
If your so-called car-kit for your phone came with a phone charger and a two-ear-bud headset, beware.
At least in California.
After almost a year of using the thing, today I received a ticket.
Apparently, I broke the law.
If your so-called car-kit for your phone came with a phone charger and a two-ear-bud headset, beware.
At least in California.
After almost a year of using the thing, today I received a ticket.
Apparently, I broke the law.
August 23, 2007
Why are you doing it?
Lately, I've been thinking about motivation and how it moderates and defines human action (specifically mine), and, more importantly, perhaps, how it doesn't.
For example, I've got three friends going through some tough times. Two of them haven't reached out to me beyond the initial heads-up about their situation.
The one friend who said, "I need X" is easy. I am in a place where I can provide X. I want to help. I can give and they are in need, so it works well. I feel good. They feel better. All is well.
But, the ones who don't ask for something specific that I can help with...that's more difficult. For them, I'm left in a place where I have to decide whether I should reach out to them to offer support, and if so, how, and what exactly this support should be.
After confronting the bit of adversity that's come my way, I know that so much of dealing with life's difficult stuff is a personal battle. Often, it's one you must fight alone. Truly, no one can comfort you, and it sucks, because you wish they could. In fact, often the people who offer comfort and make the biggest effort make you feel more alone, because they make you realize how alone you are in your perspective and situation.
So, I'm left in this place where I must admit that I have made it clear that I support all three of my friends. I have offered my time, my thoughts, and my idea of what might be comforting actions from me, if they want them. And two of them don't.
5 years ago, I imagine both of these friends probably would have reached out to me, and I don't know if it's how I've changed, how they've changed, or just these particular situations that made this time different. Regardless, this time, both of them have refrained from taking me up on my offers.
Part of me wants to reach out again. To try to be even more nurturing. To force my way into the support structure for the ones who won't ask for help. But this additional outreach, if I am honest with myself, is at least partly for me, not them.
And then I get to the title of this post. Why would I reach out again? Do I need to feel like my friends need me to feel valid? Do I need to feel like my friends need me to feel like my hours at the office haven't made me a worse friend? Do I need to be there for them to compensate for my other perceived shortcomings as a friend?
If any of those are the reason, then I shouldn't reach out. None of these things are unconditional love. None of these things are the highest level of compassion. None of these reasons are why I'd want someone to reach out to me.
But I also don't like the idea that people I love are in pain. I want to be involved in fixing it for their sake and I don't think that's bad. When dad was ill, he didn't ask, we all just pitched in, because he was our dad, brother, and friend. We all did what we thought was appropriate and he was very appreciative. The motivation for my behavior back then was simple -- because he's family.
But with friends, it's more difficult. The initial outreach -- that was because they were my friends. The response to the one in need who needed help -- that was also because they were my friend. But an additional gesture to people who haven't responded to offers to help? Why would I be doing it? And if I can't figure it out, maybe I just shouldn't do it?
Lately, I've been thinking about motivation and how it moderates and defines human action (specifically mine), and, more importantly, perhaps, how it doesn't.
For example, I've got three friends going through some tough times. Two of them haven't reached out to me beyond the initial heads-up about their situation.
The one friend who said, "I need X" is easy. I am in a place where I can provide X. I want to help. I can give and they are in need, so it works well. I feel good. They feel better. All is well.
But, the ones who don't ask for something specific that I can help with...that's more difficult. For them, I'm left in a place where I have to decide whether I should reach out to them to offer support, and if so, how, and what exactly this support should be.
After confronting the bit of adversity that's come my way, I know that so much of dealing with life's difficult stuff is a personal battle. Often, it's one you must fight alone. Truly, no one can comfort you, and it sucks, because you wish they could. In fact, often the people who offer comfort and make the biggest effort make you feel more alone, because they make you realize how alone you are in your perspective and situation.
So, I'm left in this place where I must admit that I have made it clear that I support all three of my friends. I have offered my time, my thoughts, and my idea of what might be comforting actions from me, if they want them. And two of them don't.
5 years ago, I imagine both of these friends probably would have reached out to me, and I don't know if it's how I've changed, how they've changed, or just these particular situations that made this time different. Regardless, this time, both of them have refrained from taking me up on my offers.
Part of me wants to reach out again. To try to be even more nurturing. To force my way into the support structure for the ones who won't ask for help. But this additional outreach, if I am honest with myself, is at least partly for me, not them.
And then I get to the title of this post. Why would I reach out again? Do I need to feel like my friends need me to feel valid? Do I need to feel like my friends need me to feel like my hours at the office haven't made me a worse friend? Do I need to be there for them to compensate for my other perceived shortcomings as a friend?
If any of those are the reason, then I shouldn't reach out. None of these things are unconditional love. None of these things are the highest level of compassion. None of these reasons are why I'd want someone to reach out to me.
But I also don't like the idea that people I love are in pain. I want to be involved in fixing it for their sake and I don't think that's bad. When dad was ill, he didn't ask, we all just pitched in, because he was our dad, brother, and friend. We all did what we thought was appropriate and he was very appreciative. The motivation for my behavior back then was simple -- because he's family.
But with friends, it's more difficult. The initial outreach -- that was because they were my friends. The response to the one in need who needed help -- that was also because they were my friend. But an additional gesture to people who haven't responded to offers to help? Why would I be doing it? And if I can't figure it out, maybe I just shouldn't do it?
August 22, 2007
Heirloom Tomato Potato Cheese Bake
After camping, I found myself with leftover potatoes and cheese.
After last weekend's visit to the Fairfield Tomato Festival, I also had several heirloom tomatoes to eat.
After we enjoyed several of the tomatoes (a white queen, a moon glow, a carbon, and several cherry tomatoes), we found ourselves with a few almost over-ripe leftovers (2 carbons and an unidentified orange beefsteak-shaped thing).
So, I tossed this recipe together and served it for dinner. It was very filling, relatively healthy, and extremely delicious.
5 russet potatoes, scrubbed and chopped, skins left on
8 cloves garlic, peeled and diced
1/2 white onion, chopped
1 red onion, chopped
olive oil, for cooking
italian seasonings
garlic salt
red chili pepper flakes
3 large heirloom tomatoes, chopped
1/4 block of queso fresco
4 slices of provolone torn into small pieces
1. Pre-heat oven to 475F.
2. Mix all ingredients except the cheese and tomatoes in a pyrex brownie dish (9X13 or so) and place in top shelf in oven.
3. 30 minutes later, toss the contents of the dish, and then cover them with the tomatoes. Place back on the top shelf for another 20 minutes.
4. Add crumbled queso freso and ripped provolone to the top and let brown for another 15 minutes.
5. Remove from oven when it is appropriately browned to look like a cheese-covered casserole of lasagna-like happiness and serve when it has cooled to be edible without burning.
Enjoy!
After camping, I found myself with leftover potatoes and cheese.
After last weekend's visit to the Fairfield Tomato Festival, I also had several heirloom tomatoes to eat.
After we enjoyed several of the tomatoes (a white queen, a moon glow, a carbon, and several cherry tomatoes), we found ourselves with a few almost over-ripe leftovers (2 carbons and an unidentified orange beefsteak-shaped thing).
So, I tossed this recipe together and served it for dinner. It was very filling, relatively healthy, and extremely delicious.
5 russet potatoes, scrubbed and chopped, skins left on
8 cloves garlic, peeled and diced
1/2 white onion, chopped
1 red onion, chopped
olive oil, for cooking
italian seasonings
garlic salt
red chili pepper flakes
3 large heirloom tomatoes, chopped
1/4 block of queso fresco
4 slices of provolone torn into small pieces
1. Pre-heat oven to 475F.
2. Mix all ingredients except the cheese and tomatoes in a pyrex brownie dish (9X13 or so) and place in top shelf in oven.
3. 30 minutes later, toss the contents of the dish, and then cover them with the tomatoes. Place back on the top shelf for another 20 minutes.
4. Add crumbled queso freso and ripped provolone to the top and let brown for another 15 minutes.
5. Remove from oven when it is appropriately browned to look like a cheese-covered casserole of lasagna-like happiness and serve when it has cooled to be edible without burning.
Enjoy!
Tired
Probably the hardest thing about being a lawyer for me right now is the lack of time and the choices that it forces.
I just don't have enough time to get all of my work done, sleep, eat well, train for my races, be a good wife, and have a reasonable social life.
I'm constantly juggling.
Yesterday morning I opted for more sleep instead of my run. After work, I opted to babble on the phone with R and go for a walk instead of doing the run I should have done in the morning. Then I opted to go to dinner with E and then do relaxing stuff instead of work before bed.
This morning, I couldn't get out of bed for my run. I have a stomach bug. So after hitting snooze for an hour, I opted to stay home, drink some soda and work from home 'til I feel better.
I'm starting to feel better, so I'll be back on the treadmill soon. But, man, if things could slow down just a wee bit, I would not complain.
I can not WAIT for labor day vacation.
Probably the hardest thing about being a lawyer for me right now is the lack of time and the choices that it forces.
I just don't have enough time to get all of my work done, sleep, eat well, train for my races, be a good wife, and have a reasonable social life.
I'm constantly juggling.
Yesterday morning I opted for more sleep instead of my run. After work, I opted to babble on the phone with R and go for a walk instead of doing the run I should have done in the morning. Then I opted to go to dinner with E and then do relaxing stuff instead of work before bed.
This morning, I couldn't get out of bed for my run. I have a stomach bug. So after hitting snooze for an hour, I opted to stay home, drink some soda and work from home 'til I feel better.
I'm starting to feel better, so I'll be back on the treadmill soon. But, man, if things could slow down just a wee bit, I would not complain.
I can not WAIT for labor day vacation.
August 19, 2007
Full Circle
Today, I found myself at the local nail salon for a pedicure.
I should have been working, but I'd handled all of the emergencies and I just couldn't motivate myself to start handling the things that hadn't yet become emergencies. They will evolve, of course. I can see the emergency cloud formation and the storm it promises to bring this week. I know the names of the clients whose emergencies are brewing, and I like them, I feel for them, and I will likely sacrifice sleep or relaxation on their behalf in the midst of the storm.
But, the storm is not yet here.
So, I did what any self-respecting woman with a serious case of procrastination and an even more serious case of runner's toes would do (the flip-flop display of toes I made at the Fairfield tomato festival was sub-par). I closed my email, I pulled out my home todo list to evaluate what I could do outside of work, I poured myself a glass of wine, and I called the salon.
When they said they could take me on short notice, I took it as an omen. E offered to put my half-glass of white wine in the fridge, while I drove the mile to the salon. For the next 45 minutes, I sat in one of the highest tech chairs in the world and let it massage me while Linda worked on my feet. I wrote thank you notes for birthday presents, which was a task that had been hanging over my head. The difficulties of my life slowly dissolved into the tub of hot water and the machinery behind my back and under my legs. Those few annoyances that stayed with me were massaged away by skillful strokes on my calf muscles.
In short, I indulged and now we (both myself and my newly periwinkle toes) are more prepared for the coming week than we would have otherwise been.
As my feet were drying I considered whether I should return to the house to do more work or just call it a day. On the work side were the emergencies growing. But team relaxo had the ingredients for chilled avocado soup just begging to be made and the reality that not a single email had arrived on my PDA during my hour at the salon despite several I had sent out in the hours prior.
As I debated my decision, I couldn't help but overhear the two women at the drying station near me.
He's in a better place now. No pain. No sickness. You can miss him, but he's not hurting. Which is good.
...
I know. And you know he wants to be there. I think they get to decide. I think my mother made a choice to go. They told her my sister died. I didn't want them to, but they did. And then, she changed. Before that, she told me she'd seen the light but that it wasn't her time. That the light didn't have any sorrow or pain or separation. And that when it was her time it would be nice. And I swear, when she found out about my sister, she just wanted that light. She was tired. And she deserved a place with no pain.
I couldn't help but think of a similar trip I made to a salon , almost exactly a year ago, under unfortunately similar circumstances.
There is something comforting about a pedicure. Like Jesus in the parable, the esthetician lovingly washes your feet, plus, they clean your nails and massage your muscles.
I think I needed to see and hear those women today. They reminded me how far I've come and how much less I hurt when I think of Dad, but how many other stresses and slight annoyances I've acquired since I was so singly focused on the sharp pain of his sickness and eventual death, which was all that mattered at the time. Their discussion today was so open and yet so oblivious. At one point, one of them literally stared through me and didn't hear a question I posed to her as she reached over me to claim her shoes. She was raw. She needed care.
They were in a place of pain similar to the one I know I was in, where I didn't realize how much my humanity imposed upon the room and furthermore how much that humanity makes people want to make it easier on you. I wanted to reach out to these women. To comfort them. I loved them for their sorrow and their desire to comfort themselves in one of the ways that I had chosen. And yet, I remembered the need to be alone. So I did not speak to them. Instead, I silently thanked the cosmos for the luck of running into them and the reminder that life goes on and comes in many flavors.
We, us humans, are more alike than we realize. And we all deserve to indulge and take care of ourselves, no matter what the situation.
Today, I found myself at the local nail salon for a pedicure.
I should have been working, but I'd handled all of the emergencies and I just couldn't motivate myself to start handling the things that hadn't yet become emergencies. They will evolve, of course. I can see the emergency cloud formation and the storm it promises to bring this week. I know the names of the clients whose emergencies are brewing, and I like them, I feel for them, and I will likely sacrifice sleep or relaxation on their behalf in the midst of the storm.
But, the storm is not yet here.
So, I did what any self-respecting woman with a serious case of procrastination and an even more serious case of runner's toes would do (the flip-flop display of toes I made at the Fairfield tomato festival was sub-par). I closed my email, I pulled out my home todo list to evaluate what I could do outside of work, I poured myself a glass of wine, and I called the salon.
When they said they could take me on short notice, I took it as an omen. E offered to put my half-glass of white wine in the fridge, while I drove the mile to the salon. For the next 45 minutes, I sat in one of the highest tech chairs in the world and let it massage me while Linda worked on my feet. I wrote thank you notes for birthday presents, which was a task that had been hanging over my head. The difficulties of my life slowly dissolved into the tub of hot water and the machinery behind my back and under my legs. Those few annoyances that stayed with me were massaged away by skillful strokes on my calf muscles.
In short, I indulged and now we (both myself and my newly periwinkle toes) are more prepared for the coming week than we would have otherwise been.
As my feet were drying I considered whether I should return to the house to do more work or just call it a day. On the work side were the emergencies growing. But team relaxo had the ingredients for chilled avocado soup just begging to be made and the reality that not a single email had arrived on my PDA during my hour at the salon despite several I had sent out in the hours prior.
As I debated my decision, I couldn't help but overhear the two women at the drying station near me.
He's in a better place now. No pain. No sickness. You can miss him, but he's not hurting. Which is good.
...
I know. And you know he wants to be there. I think they get to decide. I think my mother made a choice to go. They told her my sister died. I didn't want them to, but they did. And then, she changed. Before that, she told me she'd seen the light but that it wasn't her time. That the light didn't have any sorrow or pain or separation. And that when it was her time it would be nice. And I swear, when she found out about my sister, she just wanted that light. She was tired. And she deserved a place with no pain.
I couldn't help but think of a similar trip I made to a salon , almost exactly a year ago, under unfortunately similar circumstances.
There is something comforting about a pedicure. Like Jesus in the parable, the esthetician lovingly washes your feet, plus, they clean your nails and massage your muscles.
I think I needed to see and hear those women today. They reminded me how far I've come and how much less I hurt when I think of Dad, but how many other stresses and slight annoyances I've acquired since I was so singly focused on the sharp pain of his sickness and eventual death, which was all that mattered at the time. Their discussion today was so open and yet so oblivious. At one point, one of them literally stared through me and didn't hear a question I posed to her as she reached over me to claim her shoes. She was raw. She needed care.
They were in a place of pain similar to the one I know I was in, where I didn't realize how much my humanity imposed upon the room and furthermore how much that humanity makes people want to make it easier on you. I wanted to reach out to these women. To comfort them. I loved them for their sorrow and their desire to comfort themselves in one of the ways that I had chosen. And yet, I remembered the need to be alone. So I did not speak to them. Instead, I silently thanked the cosmos for the luck of running into them and the reminder that life goes on and comes in many flavors.
We, us humans, are more alike than we realize. And we all deserve to indulge and take care of ourselves, no matter what the situation.
August 15, 2007
August 14, 2007
Best Surprise Present in a Long Time
Tonight, after I spent about 2 hours in the office, E wheeled my chair around and pointed it towards the corner.
I twisted back to look at him.
What?
He just firmly held the chair in place with his body and with his hands gently rotated my shoulders to face the way they'd face if I wasn't like a kid squirming to face him and understand why I had to sit still in the spinny chair.
What?
OH!!!!!!
A brand new printer!!!!
Several months ago, my printer started printing stripes. A few pages, and it added screeches to start its long, angsty descent into its blackened goth phase, just prior to a successful suicide.
Needless to say, I haven't worked from home when I've needed to print in several months.
And that's fine. I enjoy working from the office. It's where the majority of people I need to interact with are located. They walk over and find me. Being in the office is generally more efficient than working from home, if you need to collaborate.
But, sometimes, you just want to bust out work without distractions. And as a lawyer, this likely means you are gonna have to print. Plus, I just like printing things: Receipts; Letters to companies: Running training plans to go on the bulletin board. I love paper and ink and letters and all that crap, actually.
So E's surprise present to me is the best of both worlds. First, and foremost, it's a loving and thoughtful present from the category of one of my favorite things in the world (instruments that allow me to communicate). Second, and almost equally cool, it's going to make my life much easier.
For example, I doubt we'll try to check into the wrong hotel next time we're in SLO because I couldn't print the confirmation. Because, basically, what it comes down to, is this:
If you are the kind of person who won't notice a brand new printer next to your desk for two hours, you *NEED* to print evidence of where you are going, what you are doing, and what you have done on a regular basis.
Tonight, after I spent about 2 hours in the office, E wheeled my chair around and pointed it towards the corner.
I twisted back to look at him.
What?
He just firmly held the chair in place with his body and with his hands gently rotated my shoulders to face the way they'd face if I wasn't like a kid squirming to face him and understand why I had to sit still in the spinny chair.
What?
OH!!!!!!
A brand new printer!!!!
Several months ago, my printer started printing stripes. A few pages, and it added screeches to start its long, angsty descent into its blackened goth phase, just prior to a successful suicide.
Needless to say, I haven't worked from home when I've needed to print in several months.
And that's fine. I enjoy working from the office. It's where the majority of people I need to interact with are located. They walk over and find me. Being in the office is generally more efficient than working from home, if you need to collaborate.
But, sometimes, you just want to bust out work without distractions. And as a lawyer, this likely means you are gonna have to print. Plus, I just like printing things: Receipts; Letters to companies: Running training plans to go on the bulletin board. I love paper and ink and letters and all that crap, actually.
So E's surprise present to me is the best of both worlds. First, and foremost, it's a loving and thoughtful present from the category of one of my favorite things in the world (instruments that allow me to communicate). Second, and almost equally cool, it's going to make my life much easier.
For example, I doubt we'll try to check into the wrong hotel next time we're in SLO because I couldn't print the confirmation. Because, basically, what it comes down to, is this:
If you are the kind of person who won't notice a brand new printer next to your desk for two hours, you *NEED* to print evidence of where you are going, what you are doing, and what you have done on a regular basis.
August 13, 2007
Respite
Two nights in nature are good for the soul.
True nature has no connectivity, so you can't check your email. In my rebellion against technology, I didn't even shower until we got home even though we took a 6 mile hike (and boy are my calves sore).
Of course, we brought a coleman gas stove, and next time we discussed how we should bring the aerobed, so I guess it's not really a rebellion against technology.
Shocking, but it's more of a rebellion against work. I'm in the middle of two huge projects and several smaller ones at work. But I needed to get away. I needed it so much that I left on Friday morning by telling E that I'd be home by 4:30 PM to camp, even if it meant that I got fired.
It didn't even come close to that.
But there's something about the practice of high-intensity law that makes me feel like I need to be ready to quit at any time. I need to be ready to get fired. I need to remind myself that I don't need the job as much as they need me, so I can draw some lines.
Perhaps I'm overdramatic. Maybe this mindset isn't needed. But I find it comforting and oddly necessary. I have to constantly remind myself that I *choose* this life and therefore I get to have quite a bit of say in how it all goes down.
Now if only I could convince myself that the 8 AM Monday conference call I'm headed to wasn't a bad omen for the rest of the week, I'd be in good shape.
Two nights in nature are good for the soul.
True nature has no connectivity, so you can't check your email. In my rebellion against technology, I didn't even shower until we got home even though we took a 6 mile hike (and boy are my calves sore).
Of course, we brought a coleman gas stove, and next time we discussed how we should bring the aerobed, so I guess it's not really a rebellion against technology.
Shocking, but it's more of a rebellion against work. I'm in the middle of two huge projects and several smaller ones at work. But I needed to get away. I needed it so much that I left on Friday morning by telling E that I'd be home by 4:30 PM to camp, even if it meant that I got fired.
It didn't even come close to that.
But there's something about the practice of high-intensity law that makes me feel like I need to be ready to quit at any time. I need to be ready to get fired. I need to remind myself that I don't need the job as much as they need me, so I can draw some lines.
Perhaps I'm overdramatic. Maybe this mindset isn't needed. But I find it comforting and oddly necessary. I have to constantly remind myself that I *choose* this life and therefore I get to have quite a bit of say in how it all goes down.
Now if only I could convince myself that the 8 AM Monday conference call I'm headed to wasn't a bad omen for the rest of the week, I'd be in good shape.
August 7, 2007
A Random Thought
Anytime I want to complain about something relating to my job, it's very easy to find a way to do so without breaching confidentiality obligations.
But when stuff at work is really cool... well, it's not really kosher to talk about it.
I wonder if lawyers aren't actually as sad, bitter, depressed, frustrated as we may seem, but rather, that our professional obligations require us to appear that way?
Probably not. But still, an interesting question.
Anytime I want to complain about something relating to my job, it's very easy to find a way to do so without breaching confidentiality obligations.
But when stuff at work is really cool... well, it's not really kosher to talk about it.
I wonder if lawyers aren't actually as sad, bitter, depressed, frustrated as we may seem, but rather, that our professional obligations require us to appear that way?
Probably not. But still, an interesting question.
August 5, 2007
Oops...
Saturday, a partner walked into my office with a bill. Luckily, I happened to be there.
He asked if I knew where a particular charge that was allocated to one of his clients had come from. I didn't *know*, but I could guess.
I think the summer associate I supervised on a project severely over-utilized some of our more expensive research services. How, exactly, one can rack up several thousand dollars of these particular charges, I am not certain.
But, I will find out on Monday and the firm will most likely have to eat the cost, since it never should have been incurred in the first place.
I assumed the summer associate knew how to avoid unnecessary charges. I also assumed the summer associate wouldn't do unnecessary work.
Well, you know what they say about assumptions...
So, while I'm over here making an ass out of you and me, and feeling sheepish, I've also got some good news to report.
I didn't freak out when the partner showed me my mistake. The constant fear that I'm fucking up at work is apparently at bay, because when confronted with an actual fuck-up, I took it in stride.
Also, he didn't seem to be overly critical of me, he just wanted me to handle it. It turns out, he was finishing up details before leaving for vacation, and the fact that I was there on a Saturday made his life a little easier because he could explain what he wanted me to do to fix the billing issue and leave with the comfort of having successfully handed it off instead of sending an email and hoping I understood.
I *rarely* go in to the office on weekends. When I work on the weekends, I do my best to work from home.
But this time, I'm glad I was there.
Saturday, a partner walked into my office with a bill. Luckily, I happened to be there.
He asked if I knew where a particular charge that was allocated to one of his clients had come from. I didn't *know*, but I could guess.
I think the summer associate I supervised on a project severely over-utilized some of our more expensive research services. How, exactly, one can rack up several thousand dollars of these particular charges, I am not certain.
But, I will find out on Monday and the firm will most likely have to eat the cost, since it never should have been incurred in the first place.
I assumed the summer associate knew how to avoid unnecessary charges. I also assumed the summer associate wouldn't do unnecessary work.
Well, you know what they say about assumptions...
So, while I'm over here making an ass out of you and me, and feeling sheepish, I've also got some good news to report.
I didn't freak out when the partner showed me my mistake. The constant fear that I'm fucking up at work is apparently at bay, because when confronted with an actual fuck-up, I took it in stride.
Also, he didn't seem to be overly critical of me, he just wanted me to handle it. It turns out, he was finishing up details before leaving for vacation, and the fact that I was there on a Saturday made his life a little easier because he could explain what he wanted me to do to fix the billing issue and leave with the comfort of having successfully handed it off instead of sending an email and hoping I understood.
I *rarely* go in to the office on weekends. When I work on the weekends, I do my best to work from home.
But this time, I'm glad I was there.
July 31, 2007
That's what I get
I am still *very* sore from Sunday's half marathon.
I was probably in good enough shape to comfortably keep a 9:30 pace. Instead, thanks to Rachel, I kept just a few seconds faster than a 9:00 pace.
It felt good to push my body beyond what it felt comfortable doing. I felt young, strong, and proud.
Now, however, I feel old and in pain. Those 30 seconds per mile total only 6:33 in total time. But boy do those minutes matter.
I think I will replace this morning's run with composing this post and yoga.
Mind you, this means I'm basically skipping my very first run on the training schedule I made myself for some gorgeous fall long runs, culminating in another marathon.
If any of those runs look fun to you, lemme know, I always love to have company at the start, finish, etc. and I'll cheer for you if I see you, regardless of whether you leave me behind, keep my pace, or run a more zenlike pace than I do (which, I can attest, will lead to less pain in the quads and hamstrings).
I am still *very* sore from Sunday's half marathon.
I was probably in good enough shape to comfortably keep a 9:30 pace. Instead, thanks to Rachel, I kept just a few seconds faster than a 9:00 pace.
It felt good to push my body beyond what it felt comfortable doing. I felt young, strong, and proud.
Now, however, I feel old and in pain. Those 30 seconds per mile total only 6:33 in total time. But boy do those minutes matter.
I think I will replace this morning's run with composing this post and yoga.
Mind you, this means I'm basically skipping my very first run on the training schedule I made myself for some gorgeous fall long runs, culminating in another marathon.
If any of those runs look fun to you, lemme know, I always love to have company at the start, finish, etc. and I'll cheer for you if I see you, regardless of whether you leave me behind, keep my pace, or run a more zenlike pace than I do (which, I can attest, will lead to less pain in the quads and hamstrings).
July 29, 2007
In my thirties
Several people this weekend informed me that now that I'm 31, I'm "in my thirties."
Who knew?
Apparently, 30, isn't 30's.
To celebrate, I did a few things.
First, I threw a fit and blamed E for my missing passport. Then I realized I was just transferring my lost passport to the reality of my lost dad and felt sheepish. Yes, a lost passport is a pain in the ass, but it's nothing compared to the pain of the reality that Dad's not gonna call this birthday.
So, I turned off my phone.
Oddly, it made it all better. After a fabulous birthday dinner and before an early bedtime, I checked my messages. I felt loved. I called them all back the next day when I was in a better mood.
In fact, the only soul who had to deal with me in my funk was E.
Saintly, that boy is.
In other news, I love the Cliff Bar Pace Team. Especially Rachel.
Due to Rachel's cajoling, conversation, encouragement, and will, I took my under-trained body on a less than 2-hours half marathon course despite being in sub-par shape and a pre-race dinner of a full four courses of amazing, decadent Italian food (with 4 cheese selections as dessert) plus imported and decanted wine at Acquarello. The servers and owners were willing to speak about food and share tidbits that were extra little birthday presents: the introduction to Gattinara, the queen to the king of Barolo and prince of Barbaresco, and the knowledge that the good Burrata arrives at A.G. Ferrari every other Saturday.
I wouldn't change any of it for the world, it was a perfect Birthday Weekend. (Rachel, Good luck with your book and I hope to see you again, soon!)
There is nothing like living it up before crossing the finish line with a nice time to make you feel young on your birthday. Plus, today, I called and visited those who'd contacted me in the last 2 days regarding my birthday. Because, predictably, I was over my funk.
At least for the meanwhile.
Several people this weekend informed me that now that I'm 31, I'm "in my thirties."
Who knew?
Apparently, 30, isn't 30's.
To celebrate, I did a few things.
First, I threw a fit and blamed E for my missing passport. Then I realized I was just transferring my lost passport to the reality of my lost dad and felt sheepish. Yes, a lost passport is a pain in the ass, but it's nothing compared to the pain of the reality that Dad's not gonna call this birthday.
So, I turned off my phone.
Oddly, it made it all better. After a fabulous birthday dinner and before an early bedtime, I checked my messages. I felt loved. I called them all back the next day when I was in a better mood.
In fact, the only soul who had to deal with me in my funk was E.
Saintly, that boy is.
In other news, I love the Cliff Bar Pace Team. Especially Rachel.
Due to Rachel's cajoling, conversation, encouragement, and will, I took my under-trained body on a less than 2-hours half marathon course despite being in sub-par shape and a pre-race dinner of a full four courses of amazing, decadent Italian food (with 4 cheese selections as dessert) plus imported and decanted wine at Acquarello. The servers and owners were willing to speak about food and share tidbits that were extra little birthday presents: the introduction to Gattinara, the queen to the king of Barolo and prince of Barbaresco, and the knowledge that the good Burrata arrives at A.G. Ferrari every other Saturday.
I wouldn't change any of it for the world, it was a perfect Birthday Weekend. (Rachel, Good luck with your book and I hope to see you again, soon!)
There is nothing like living it up before crossing the finish line with a nice time to make you feel young on your birthday. Plus, today, I called and visited those who'd contacted me in the last 2 days regarding my birthday. Because, predictably, I was over my funk.
At least for the meanwhile.
July 25, 2007
Gross!
Last night was designated healthy night #2 for the week.
E and I generally do two healthy nights a week. Mellow night together at home. Light food. No alcohol. One with yoga, the other with sit-ups and push-ups if we motivate, otherwise, just light food. Both nights focus on an attempt at early sleep.
Monday was healthy night #1. Predictably, I was late leaving work, so I pulled one of my favorite tricks and made a quick detour to our local market/deli where I scored a 1/2 pint of marinated beets, onions, and parsely plus a couple of ciabatta roles. At home, quickly, we composed a dinner of washed and ripped dark leafy greens topped with the beet mixture, some good olive oil, and bread on the side. Also predictably, we skipped the calisthenics.
Mmmm.... delicious *and* relaxing.
Last night was supposed to be healthy night #2 for the week.
I planned to use the remainder of the greens, topped with fresh basil from my plant, red onions, various hard cheese shavings, and some balsamic and olive oil. Again, I planned to serve bread on the side, only this time, heated in the oven from the freezer.
I arrived home, pre-heated the oven, placed the frozen bread on the stove, and unwrapped the lettuce, which I had wrapped in paper towels after washing it the day prior.
The first leaf, I tore into small pieces and split evenly between our bowls. The second leaf, however, appeared to have some dirt on it. So, I brushed it off with the paper towel, wondering how the washing I had given the lettuce had missed such large dirt chunks. I ripped that leaf into chunks as well.
Leaf 3, however, was *very* dirty.
Oh. Wait a minute. That's not dirt. That's larvae.
I peeled back the inner leaves to reveal a veritable colony of eggs and flies.
DIS-GUST-ING.
Not quite as disgusting as the Great Grain Moth Debacle.
But certainly disgusting enough to make a person not feel like being remotely healthy.
So, we did what you'd expect, we rescheduled healthy/yoga night (because there was no other light food in the house) and went out for Mexican food and margaritas (to kill the bugs we ate last night, you see...) instead.
Last night was designated healthy night #2 for the week.
E and I generally do two healthy nights a week. Mellow night together at home. Light food. No alcohol. One with yoga, the other with sit-ups and push-ups if we motivate, otherwise, just light food. Both nights focus on an attempt at early sleep.
Monday was healthy night #1. Predictably, I was late leaving work, so I pulled one of my favorite tricks and made a quick detour to our local market/deli where I scored a 1/2 pint of marinated beets, onions, and parsely plus a couple of ciabatta roles. At home, quickly, we composed a dinner of washed and ripped dark leafy greens topped with the beet mixture, some good olive oil, and bread on the side. Also predictably, we skipped the calisthenics.
Mmmm.... delicious *and* relaxing.
Last night was supposed to be healthy night #2 for the week.
I planned to use the remainder of the greens, topped with fresh basil from my plant, red onions, various hard cheese shavings, and some balsamic and olive oil. Again, I planned to serve bread on the side, only this time, heated in the oven from the freezer.
I arrived home, pre-heated the oven, placed the frozen bread on the stove, and unwrapped the lettuce, which I had wrapped in paper towels after washing it the day prior.
The first leaf, I tore into small pieces and split evenly between our bowls. The second leaf, however, appeared to have some dirt on it. So, I brushed it off with the paper towel, wondering how the washing I had given the lettuce had missed such large dirt chunks. I ripped that leaf into chunks as well.
Leaf 3, however, was *very* dirty.
Oh. Wait a minute. That's not dirt. That's larvae.
I peeled back the inner leaves to reveal a veritable colony of eggs and flies.
DIS-GUST-ING.
Not quite as disgusting as the Great Grain Moth Debacle.
But certainly disgusting enough to make a person not feel like being remotely healthy.
So, we did what you'd expect, we rescheduled healthy/yoga night (because there was no other light food in the house) and went out for Mexican food and margaritas (to kill the bugs we ate last night, you see...) instead.
July 23, 2007
Big Week
For those of you taking the California bar this week, I wish you all the best. It is my opinion that it's not a test of law at all, but rather a test of composure and performance under stress. So, if you get stuck, I suggest you remind yourself that you have exactly two jobs while you are in that oh-so-comfortable seat, surrounded by stress-cadets:
breath and type (or write)
That's it. If you do that, and you know a bit of law (which you probably do, since you probably totally over-studied), you will be fine.
Over here in lawyer land, I'll be going through a similar exercise. I am pretty sure that I have more work lined up for the next 5 days than I have for any week thus far as a lawyer, except, maybe, during the 18-days-straight-on-the-merger-from-hell.
This time, I helped create my situation by insisting that I get a weekend. I needed it. Particularly, because I needed to be with my sister and brother (and niece!) for a day of remembrance of dad in preparation for the sad reality of the one year anniversary of his death. I did no work yesterday. Instead, I woke early, showered at brother's, went to the grocery store and bought roses for dad (and a balloon for my niece), and went to the cemetery.
The cemetery we chose is gorgeous. Up in the Sierra Nevada foothills, surrounded by trees and under a perfect blue sky, we hugged and cried and told stories of our favorite memories of dad. We left the roses (sister brought some too) and the balloon amongst the more permanent items that people have left.
I felt such a sense of relief after my tears fell. I'm glad we decided to do this ceremony of sorts before the actual anniversary. I feel more prepared to handle what will undoubtedly be a sad, sad, day.
After our shared sadness, we shared food and a beer at dad's favorite deli. We languished in the heat. We visited our mother at her new house and I smiled while brother and niece swam in the pool, playing childhood summer water games.
After the long drive home, I couldn't bring myself to work. I was exhausted from a weekend of recruiting events and emotional release.
Instead, I read the binders of recipes I got from my mom containing recipes my grandmother had collected over the years. What gems! Then, I had a nice long phone conversation with jaykay while I cooked dinner, a luxury in which I hadn't indulged in a very long time.
For dinner, I created a delicious spicy-bacon-swiss risotto. Not exactly healthy, but I figured I needed the wife points for the week that's in the pipeline. It was delicious and E finished the whole pan with gusto.
I was asleep before 10 PM.
And now, my friends, I'm preparing for the week of battle. I suspect I'll have 5 *very* long days. My non-law goals for the next 5 days are: 1) to still fit in my taper runs before next week's race; 2) to be present and not distracted with E for at least 30 minutes each day; and 3) to get enough sleep.
Wish me luck.
For those of you taking the California bar this week, I wish you all the best. It is my opinion that it's not a test of law at all, but rather a test of composure and performance under stress. So, if you get stuck, I suggest you remind yourself that you have exactly two jobs while you are in that oh-so-comfortable seat, surrounded by stress-cadets:
breath and type (or write)
That's it. If you do that, and you know a bit of law (which you probably do, since you probably totally over-studied), you will be fine.
Over here in lawyer land, I'll be going through a similar exercise. I am pretty sure that I have more work lined up for the next 5 days than I have for any week thus far as a lawyer, except, maybe, during the 18-days-straight-on-the-merger-from-hell.
This time, I helped create my situation by insisting that I get a weekend. I needed it. Particularly, because I needed to be with my sister and brother (and niece!) for a day of remembrance of dad in preparation for the sad reality of the one year anniversary of his death. I did no work yesterday. Instead, I woke early, showered at brother's, went to the grocery store and bought roses for dad (and a balloon for my niece), and went to the cemetery.
The cemetery we chose is gorgeous. Up in the Sierra Nevada foothills, surrounded by trees and under a perfect blue sky, we hugged and cried and told stories of our favorite memories of dad. We left the roses (sister brought some too) and the balloon amongst the more permanent items that people have left.
I felt such a sense of relief after my tears fell. I'm glad we decided to do this ceremony of sorts before the actual anniversary. I feel more prepared to handle what will undoubtedly be a sad, sad, day.
After our shared sadness, we shared food and a beer at dad's favorite deli. We languished in the heat. We visited our mother at her new house and I smiled while brother and niece swam in the pool, playing childhood summer water games.
After the long drive home, I couldn't bring myself to work. I was exhausted from a weekend of recruiting events and emotional release.
Instead, I read the binders of recipes I got from my mom containing recipes my grandmother had collected over the years. What gems! Then, I had a nice long phone conversation with jaykay while I cooked dinner, a luxury in which I hadn't indulged in a very long time.
For dinner, I created a delicious spicy-bacon-swiss risotto. Not exactly healthy, but I figured I needed the wife points for the week that's in the pipeline. It was delicious and E finished the whole pan with gusto.
I was asleep before 10 PM.
And now, my friends, I'm preparing for the week of battle. I suspect I'll have 5 *very* long days. My non-law goals for the next 5 days are: 1) to still fit in my taper runs before next week's race; 2) to be present and not distracted with E for at least 30 minutes each day; and 3) to get enough sleep.
Wish me luck.
July 16, 2007
A tale of two cookings
My weekend of relaxation and less than one hour of work involved much food, as you would expect. There was the walk to mediterranean food for Friday night date night, which supplanted the 6 mile run that was scheduled. Then there was the Saturday brunch of bacon, bean sprout, red pepper, cucumber, green curry salad. It was delicious, and it utilized some of the latest, inspiring bacon shipment (mmmm... pepper bacon). It wasn't too heavy, so we were able to strike out on a 6 mile bike ride (it should have been longer, but the wind, and the laziness... how can you fight it?)
The salad & bike-ride combo also left us hungry for a big caloric dinner. And thus, at 8 PM or so, we headed to our local Mexican joint for Saturday night dinner. 2 baskets of chips later, my food finally arrived. Let's just say I finished my mole enchiladas with pleasure, and I was sufficiently carbo-loaded for Sunday's run.
Sunday, I woke at 8 AM and knew I should leave immediately. It was going to be hot, you see. But, instead, I checked my work email, I reviewed a client request, I checked my personal email, and the next thing I knew, it was 8:30. Quickly, I snuck into the bedroom, kissed E goodbye, told him I'd be back before 11:00 AM and headed out for my slow 12 miler. It was the slowest and most enjoyable walk-breaks 12-miles I've ever done. (Hey, sometimes, you've just got to put in the miles as prep, and as we know, I've signed up for the SF 2nd half, so, I don't really have much of a choice if I actually want to enjoy the race.) From there, I headed to the local farmer's market...
Sunday night, after a day with the girls (starting with a brunch of multiple types of the best kinds of pork buns, and finishing with a day at the spa and a large group at a Vietnamese fusion joint), I was ready to go back to a day of light food.
Healthy, but delicious. I vaguely recalled that those adjectives could jointly be a reality. My scale, of course, couldn't recall this. Instead, it registered numbers that I hadn't seen since returning from the holidays in Atlanta.
Ouch.
In recognition of this reality, I present two recipes: the first, a very healthy filling recipe; the second, a not-so-healthy, but fairly light, make-shift dessert recipe (which, btw, E thinks is disgusting).
Healthy squash fajitas
-1 yellow long squash, sliced in 1/2 cm long slices
-1 yellow spherical squash, sliced in 1/2 cm wide slices
-1 green spherical squash, sliced in 1/2 cm wide slices
-1/2 white/yellow onion, sliced in 1/2 cm wide rings
-olive oil, for cooking
-italian seasoning (marjoram, oregano, etc.)
-5 cloves garlic, minced
-chili powder
-cayenne pepper
-salt and pepper to taste;
-corn tortillas, warmed/steamed in microwave.
1. toss all ingredients except tortillas in a glass casserole pan at room temperature until evenly coated.
2. lay coated squash and onion slices across the grill (panini grill, charcoal grill, grill pan over high heat).
3. When cooked through with dark brown lines across each one (turn, if necessary), transfer squash and onion to a glass serving dish, cover, and bring to the table.
4. Cover 2-3 tortillas per person served in microwave with a towel that has been wetted. Microwave on high for 40 seconds.
5. Serve tortillas garnished with squash and onions, sliced cilantro and freshly squeezed lime juice, as well as your favorite salsa.
I will admit, it was one of the more simultaneously delicious and filling meals I've ever enjoyed, and it's well worth the effort, especially if you are high on the comfort zone of weight...
And, for the sake of equal opportunity presentation...
Choco-dillas
1. Take 2 corn tortillas. Place in a wet cloth napkin, wrap evenly, toss in the microwave, for 30 second.
2. Remove tortillas. Lay out one tortilla and evenly spread dark-chocolate chips for even distribution and cover with the second. Place both tortillas, with choco-chips between in the microwave without cover, microwave on high for 30 seconds.
3. Enjoy.
If you care, FWIW, E loved recipe #1. Recipe #2 surprised and disappointed him. he couldn't believe that my look of pleasure was associated with *that* after he tasted it. To each her own....
And that, my friends, is all she wrote. At least tonight.
My weekend of relaxation and less than one hour of work involved much food, as you would expect. There was the walk to mediterranean food for Friday night date night, which supplanted the 6 mile run that was scheduled. Then there was the Saturday brunch of bacon, bean sprout, red pepper, cucumber, green curry salad. It was delicious, and it utilized some of the latest, inspiring bacon shipment (mmmm... pepper bacon). It wasn't too heavy, so we were able to strike out on a 6 mile bike ride (it should have been longer, but the wind, and the laziness... how can you fight it?)
The salad & bike-ride combo also left us hungry for a big caloric dinner. And thus, at 8 PM or so, we headed to our local Mexican joint for Saturday night dinner. 2 baskets of chips later, my food finally arrived. Let's just say I finished my mole enchiladas with pleasure, and I was sufficiently carbo-loaded for Sunday's run.
Sunday, I woke at 8 AM and knew I should leave immediately. It was going to be hot, you see. But, instead, I checked my work email, I reviewed a client request, I checked my personal email, and the next thing I knew, it was 8:30. Quickly, I snuck into the bedroom, kissed E goodbye, told him I'd be back before 11:00 AM and headed out for my slow 12 miler. It was the slowest and most enjoyable walk-breaks 12-miles I've ever done. (Hey, sometimes, you've just got to put in the miles as prep, and as we know, I've signed up for the SF 2nd half, so, I don't really have much of a choice if I actually want to enjoy the race.) From there, I headed to the local farmer's market...
Sunday night, after a day with the girls (starting with a brunch of multiple types of the best kinds of pork buns, and finishing with a day at the spa and a large group at a Vietnamese fusion joint), I was ready to go back to a day of light food.
Healthy, but delicious. I vaguely recalled that those adjectives could jointly be a reality. My scale, of course, couldn't recall this. Instead, it registered numbers that I hadn't seen since returning from the holidays in Atlanta.
Ouch.
In recognition of this reality, I present two recipes: the first, a very healthy filling recipe; the second, a not-so-healthy, but fairly light, make-shift dessert recipe (which, btw, E thinks is disgusting).
Healthy squash fajitas
-1 yellow long squash, sliced in 1/2 cm long slices
-1 yellow spherical squash, sliced in 1/2 cm wide slices
-1 green spherical squash, sliced in 1/2 cm wide slices
-1/2 white/yellow onion, sliced in 1/2 cm wide rings
-olive oil, for cooking
-italian seasoning (marjoram, oregano, etc.)
-5 cloves garlic, minced
-chili powder
-cayenne pepper
-salt and pepper to taste;
-corn tortillas, warmed/steamed in microwave.
1. toss all ingredients except tortillas in a glass casserole pan at room temperature until evenly coated.
2. lay coated squash and onion slices across the grill (panini grill, charcoal grill, grill pan over high heat).
3. When cooked through with dark brown lines across each one (turn, if necessary), transfer squash and onion to a glass serving dish, cover, and bring to the table.
4. Cover 2-3 tortillas per person served in microwave with a towel that has been wetted. Microwave on high for 40 seconds.
5. Serve tortillas garnished with squash and onions, sliced cilantro and freshly squeezed lime juice, as well as your favorite salsa.
I will admit, it was one of the more simultaneously delicious and filling meals I've ever enjoyed, and it's well worth the effort, especially if you are high on the comfort zone of weight...
And, for the sake of equal opportunity presentation...
Choco-dillas
1. Take 2 corn tortillas. Place in a wet cloth napkin, wrap evenly, toss in the microwave, for 30 second.
2. Remove tortillas. Lay out one tortilla and evenly spread dark-chocolate chips for even distribution and cover with the second. Place both tortillas, with choco-chips between in the microwave without cover, microwave on high for 30 seconds.
3. Enjoy.
If you care, FWIW, E loved recipe #1. Recipe #2 surprised and disappointed him. he couldn't believe that my look of pleasure was associated with *that* after he tasted it. To each her own....
And that, my friends, is all she wrote. At least tonight.
July 14, 2007
Distraction
Things were reasonably calm at work this week. I was somewhat social. If I get off my butt today and tomorrow according to the miles I've scheduled, I'll actually have my second week over 30 miles in a row, which is something that hasn't happened since January (while I was still training for the marathon).
This week, I was feeling like I had things relatively under control. But we kept getting these pesky calls from one of my credit card companies.
I finally called back only to have the bizarre experience of being asked why I underpaid the minimum payment. The call-center guy appeared to find my response of "Oh I must have misread it, why don't I pay the rest and next month's payment right now?" a bit odd. I'm guessing many people claim to have mis-read their bills. But I imagine at least some of 'em read the bill just fine but don't have the cash to correct the mistake.
I ordinarily pay my credit cards off in full. But this one is in a zero percent interest period, so I figure I'm better off paying the minimum payment and throwing my disposable income at debt that's actually accruing interest (non-governmentally subsidized school loans, I'm looking at you!).
But, even though I'm letting the principle sit, I always pay the minimum payment. I usually round up.
Apparently, sometime last month, when I paid this bill, I rounded down.
E says his least favorite thing about me being busy at work is how distracted I am. How without warning, I'll just fall out of a conversation with him. I believed him, because I feel distracted when work is crazy.
But, I didn't realize just *how* distracted I've let it make me.
Mis-reading a bill and underpaying the amount due? That's absurd.
So, I'm got some new goals. I'm going to try to be better about leaving work at work. Or at least leaving it for hours I've consciously allocated to work. Now that I've been at the firm for almost 3/4 of a year (has it already been that long?) I'm starting to feel more comfortable. And I'm going to use that comfort to start reclaiming the bits of my life that I unconsciously lost.
Here's to less distraction.
Things were reasonably calm at work this week. I was somewhat social. If I get off my butt today and tomorrow according to the miles I've scheduled, I'll actually have my second week over 30 miles in a row, which is something that hasn't happened since January (while I was still training for the marathon).
This week, I was feeling like I had things relatively under control. But we kept getting these pesky calls from one of my credit card companies.
I finally called back only to have the bizarre experience of being asked why I underpaid the minimum payment. The call-center guy appeared to find my response of "Oh I must have misread it, why don't I pay the rest and next month's payment right now?" a bit odd. I'm guessing many people claim to have mis-read their bills. But I imagine at least some of 'em read the bill just fine but don't have the cash to correct the mistake.
I ordinarily pay my credit cards off in full. But this one is in a zero percent interest period, so I figure I'm better off paying the minimum payment and throwing my disposable income at debt that's actually accruing interest (non-governmentally subsidized school loans, I'm looking at you!).
But, even though I'm letting the principle sit, I always pay the minimum payment. I usually round up.
Apparently, sometime last month, when I paid this bill, I rounded down.
E says his least favorite thing about me being busy at work is how distracted I am. How without warning, I'll just fall out of a conversation with him. I believed him, because I feel distracted when work is crazy.
But, I didn't realize just *how* distracted I've let it make me.
Mis-reading a bill and underpaying the amount due? That's absurd.
So, I'm got some new goals. I'm going to try to be better about leaving work at work. Or at least leaving it for hours I've consciously allocated to work. Now that I've been at the firm for almost 3/4 of a year (has it already been that long?) I'm starting to feel more comfortable. And I'm going to use that comfort to start reclaiming the bits of my life that I unconsciously lost.
Here's to less distraction.
July 11, 2007
Metamorphosis
I let it slip today at a firm social event. I flat out said it.
The reality is, my social life and being a lawyer are not able to coexist. So I need to figure out who I want to be, my long term goals, and make a decision between them.
Probably not what you should say at a summer associate event. But none of them heard me. I was commiserating with a fellow member of my team.
I don't think of myself as a particularly social person. But, even so, I am relatively social. I make plans. And, I like to keep them.
Being a lawyer gets in the way of life. Especially if the business you are in is going well at the same time that you are in the traditional ramp-up period. It asks that you reschedule your life around work. It asks that you make sacrifices. It asks that you become someone who places work ahead of at least one of your friends, your family, or your health. The firm, in many ways, would not complain if you put work ahead of all three. The people will tell you to hold your own, and that they don't actually want you to sacrifice all 3, but the messages you receive will occasionally contradict that.
Lately, I've realized that of those three, the first is the one where I'm most willing to budge. If something's got to give, I'll stop being so social. And don't think that makes me very willing--I wouldn't give up my weekly barbeque for bar studies, I was willing to fail the exam before I'd give up my weekly social tradition. Regardless, for me, social life is the first to take the hit, but family and health occasionally also take a hit, even though I guard them with a little more vigilance.
Health, well, it comes in many flavors, non? I'll give an hour of sleep a night or drop my mileage from 20-30 miles per week all the way down to 10-15 before I give up quality time with E. But after a few weeks of low sleep and/or miles, the time with E isn't so quality, 'cause I'm slowly going crazy. I give up yoga night for late night work if it means I'll get date night later in the week, but I can only do it occasionally because lack of yoga starts to hurt after a week or two. Oddly, my eating habits are the one thing that seems to benefit from the lawyer life. The harder I work, the less likely I am to have a heavy lunch, to drink too many calories before bed, or to cook up a heavy delicious meal.
But family? It doesn't come in an easy to sacrifice package. It demands when it feels like it. I very much want to be a good wife. A good sister. A good Aunt. A good daughter. I'll give up my social life, and even some of my health to accomplish this. But what about when the lawyer life conflicts with this one?
For me, when the lawyer life gets in the way of family, that's when I really need to re-evaluate. That's when I have to draw some ugly lines with the comfort that I can't go there, and if that means I get fired, or I'm not considered "partner material" or I'm not going to get a big bonus, that's just fine.
But I'll tell you what.
It's hard.
It's very hard.
I like my job. I like being a lawyer. I like the work. I like the people I work with. I like my social life. I like my health. And I love my family.
Balancing it all has become the focus of this very difficult phase of my life. The only thing I keep telling myself is that it has to get easier. There are people I respect who appear to have good social lives, good health, great family lives and decent careers as lawyers.
The difficult gig is figuring out how to make it work.
I let it slip today at a firm social event. I flat out said it.
The reality is, my social life and being a lawyer are not able to coexist. So I need to figure out who I want to be, my long term goals, and make a decision between them.
Probably not what you should say at a summer associate event. But none of them heard me. I was commiserating with a fellow member of my team.
I don't think of myself as a particularly social person. But, even so, I am relatively social. I make plans. And, I like to keep them.
Being a lawyer gets in the way of life. Especially if the business you are in is going well at the same time that you are in the traditional ramp-up period. It asks that you reschedule your life around work. It asks that you make sacrifices. It asks that you become someone who places work ahead of at least one of your friends, your family, or your health. The firm, in many ways, would not complain if you put work ahead of all three. The people will tell you to hold your own, and that they don't actually want you to sacrifice all 3, but the messages you receive will occasionally contradict that.
Lately, I've realized that of those three, the first is the one where I'm most willing to budge. If something's got to give, I'll stop being so social. And don't think that makes me very willing--I wouldn't give up my weekly barbeque for bar studies, I was willing to fail the exam before I'd give up my weekly social tradition. Regardless, for me, social life is the first to take the hit, but family and health occasionally also take a hit, even though I guard them with a little more vigilance.
Health, well, it comes in many flavors, non? I'll give an hour of sleep a night or drop my mileage from 20-30 miles per week all the way down to 10-15 before I give up quality time with E. But after a few weeks of low sleep and/or miles, the time with E isn't so quality, 'cause I'm slowly going crazy. I give up yoga night for late night work if it means I'll get date night later in the week, but I can only do it occasionally because lack of yoga starts to hurt after a week or two. Oddly, my eating habits are the one thing that seems to benefit from the lawyer life. The harder I work, the less likely I am to have a heavy lunch, to drink too many calories before bed, or to cook up a heavy delicious meal.
But family? It doesn't come in an easy to sacrifice package. It demands when it feels like it. I very much want to be a good wife. A good sister. A good Aunt. A good daughter. I'll give up my social life, and even some of my health to accomplish this. But what about when the lawyer life conflicts with this one?
For me, when the lawyer life gets in the way of family, that's when I really need to re-evaluate. That's when I have to draw some ugly lines with the comfort that I can't go there, and if that means I get fired, or I'm not considered "partner material" or I'm not going to get a big bonus, that's just fine.
But I'll tell you what.
It's hard.
It's very hard.
I like my job. I like being a lawyer. I like the work. I like the people I work with. I like my social life. I like my health. And I love my family.
Balancing it all has become the focus of this very difficult phase of my life. The only thing I keep telling myself is that it has to get easier. There are people I respect who appear to have good social lives, good health, great family lives and decent careers as lawyers.
The difficult gig is figuring out how to make it work.
July 6, 2007
Victory!
At the risk of tempting fate, I'm going to just come out and say it:
I think I figured out the secret to arancini di riso. (It's making a good risotto the day before and forgetting any complicated madness around adding eggs and cheese to "thicken" the mush.)
Wednesday, I made a wonderful risotto from 1/2 a package of this month's bacon shipment, 3/4 of a red onion, 3 cloves of garlic, vialone nano rice, vermouth, chicken broth, beef broth, and a huge bunch of red swiss chard, diced. The onions and chard stems gave a bloodish hue to the concoction, which contrasted nicely with the dark green of the chard leaves.
Thursday, there were leftovers. After fumbling for what I would contribute to barbeque, I remembered my challenge .
So, I hopped in the car and headed to the store for a late-night bread crumbs and safflower oil run. Upon my return, my neighbor knowingly smiled and said, "beer run?" Given my odd compulsion for telling the truth in annoying detail, you can imagine how well that conversation went. Yeah, the neighbors think we're weird.
Anyways, back to the balls.
The risotto from the night before was cold from the overnight in the freezer. I could form perfect spheres between my hands around the cheese chunks without fear of them losing their structure. Now that was more like it. The balls were ready to stay in their shape even *before* frying. A little egg coating. Some bread crumbs. And a few minutes on each side in the safflower oil and I was done.
The only thing I might do differently next time is take the risotto out of the fridge an hour or so before hand so that the cheese is easier to melt in the heat of the medium-hot oil (300F or so), which does not scorch the bread crumbs.
I am pleased to report that my offer of "deep-fried-bacon-rice-cheese ball?" Was not turned down by a single guest at the barbeque. They were a hit. And they were non-exploding finger food. As they were meant to be.
Success!
At the risk of tempting fate, I'm going to just come out and say it:
I think I figured out the secret to arancini di riso. (It's making a good risotto the day before and forgetting any complicated madness around adding eggs and cheese to "thicken" the mush.)
Wednesday, I made a wonderful risotto from 1/2 a package of this month's bacon shipment, 3/4 of a red onion, 3 cloves of garlic, vialone nano rice, vermouth, chicken broth, beef broth, and a huge bunch of red swiss chard, diced. The onions and chard stems gave a bloodish hue to the concoction, which contrasted nicely with the dark green of the chard leaves.
Thursday, there were leftovers. After fumbling for what I would contribute to barbeque, I remembered my challenge .
So, I hopped in the car and headed to the store for a late-night bread crumbs and safflower oil run. Upon my return, my neighbor knowingly smiled and said, "beer run?" Given my odd compulsion for telling the truth in annoying detail, you can imagine how well that conversation went. Yeah, the neighbors think we're weird.
Anyways, back to the balls.
The risotto from the night before was cold from the overnight in the freezer. I could form perfect spheres between my hands around the cheese chunks without fear of them losing their structure. Now that was more like it. The balls were ready to stay in their shape even *before* frying. A little egg coating. Some bread crumbs. And a few minutes on each side in the safflower oil and I was done.
The only thing I might do differently next time is take the risotto out of the fridge an hour or so before hand so that the cheese is easier to melt in the heat of the medium-hot oil (300F or so), which does not scorch the bread crumbs.
I am pleased to report that my offer of "deep-fried-bacon-rice-cheese ball?" Was not turned down by a single guest at the barbeque. They were a hit. And they were non-exploding finger food. As they were meant to be.
Success!
July 4, 2007
Holidaze
A day off in the middle of the week is so civilized, don't you think?
I slept in.
I ran 10 miles for the first time since June 9th. Guess what? It's hot today. And here's another newsflash: I'm a little out of shape. As predicted, my lazy-daze-of-summer program deflated my running fitness. Last weekend, E and I took a gorgeous 16-mile mountain bike ride on the coastal trail, which was fun, and good prep for Tour de Peninsula, but not exactly as demanding as a long run. None-the-less, I woke Sunday morning and convinced myself that the soreness in my legs meant I'd worked them enough for the weekend. I wish I could say that was the only morning in the last month or so where I opted for more time in bed over miles.
So, I've been lazy, I've been working too much, and not exercising as much as I should. I used today's Holiday to get out of that mode, officially, with the first longish run of Summer. It should be interesting to see how much improvement I can make in my 4 week training window for the San Francisco Half.
After the run, and the glorious decadence of the too-long post-run shower, E and I sipped a glass of wine and ate mediteranean food under an umbrella. I jealously observed that the restaurant's tomato plants were bearing fruit while mine has barely begun to flower.
After lunch, we took a brief drive to look at a nearby house that's for sale and discussed the unknown of our future plans.
A drive. A nap. And later today, we're even going to the Kwik-E-Mart.
Sure, I've already worked an hour or so and I have another 2-3 hours to do, but compared to a full work-day, that's nothing. And since we have no plans it's not really that frustrating. I feel quite free. In a perfect world, I could read a pleasure book, or cook something complicated with those hours, but other than those two things, I've had a wonderfully relaxing day: I got my sleep, sun, run, food, and time with E.
If only I could find a way to work a half-day from home *every* Wednesday...
A day off in the middle of the week is so civilized, don't you think?
I slept in.
I ran 10 miles for the first time since June 9th. Guess what? It's hot today. And here's another newsflash: I'm a little out of shape. As predicted, my lazy-daze-of-summer program deflated my running fitness. Last weekend, E and I took a gorgeous 16-mile mountain bike ride on the coastal trail, which was fun, and good prep for Tour de Peninsula, but not exactly as demanding as a long run. None-the-less, I woke Sunday morning and convinced myself that the soreness in my legs meant I'd worked them enough for the weekend. I wish I could say that was the only morning in the last month or so where I opted for more time in bed over miles.
So, I've been lazy, I've been working too much, and not exercising as much as I should. I used today's Holiday to get out of that mode, officially, with the first longish run of Summer. It should be interesting to see how much improvement I can make in my 4 week training window for the San Francisco Half.
After the run, and the glorious decadence of the too-long post-run shower, E and I sipped a glass of wine and ate mediteranean food under an umbrella. I jealously observed that the restaurant's tomato plants were bearing fruit while mine has barely begun to flower.
After lunch, we took a brief drive to look at a nearby house that's for sale and discussed the unknown of our future plans.
A drive. A nap. And later today, we're even going to the Kwik-E-Mart.
Sure, I've already worked an hour or so and I have another 2-3 hours to do, but compared to a full work-day, that's nothing. And since we have no plans it's not really that frustrating. I feel quite free. In a perfect world, I could read a pleasure book, or cook something complicated with those hours, but other than those two things, I've had a wonderfully relaxing day: I got my sleep, sun, run, food, and time with E.
If only I could find a way to work a half-day from home *every* Wednesday...
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