July 6, 2012


Celebrities (usually with lots of judgment).

Cleanses (the more details of the dietary sacrifices made and physiological effects, the better).

Diet details (again, the more details the better).

Work-out programs (say it with me now, the more details the better).

Feeling fat, out of shape, or otherwise bad about and ridiculously concerned about one's appearance (aka body-dysmorphia).

Suffice it to say, I am severely disappointed with what are considered the default acceptable topics of conversation among women in my social cohort with whom I don't share some other obvious common conversation topics (children, as I've mentioned, leaves me feeling a little left out, however, they are actually much more entertaining and fascinating to me than the standard default female discussion topics.)

I mean, really.  Was I at a party this weekend where the dudes branched off to go troubleshoot a broken two-stroke engine and the women talked about diets and feeling fat for part of the separated time?

Yes.  Yes, I was.

Happy Independence Day!  (In fairness, the rest of the women-only conversation was scintillating and wonderful.)

But, I am sad about the state of women in America.  Why do we default to discussions that assume the value attached to female attractiveness and the maintenance thereof is all-important?

And I am especially sad because I am often hated by women who don't know me, simply because when they meet me, I speak with confidence and brush off the standard topics (like a guy, I've been told, more than once), which apparently makes me (one of my least favorite words) a "bitch."

Ladies.  We can do better, and we'd all be happier.  Seriously.

Come to the party ready to talk about what you love and feel like it's worth talking about.  I'm fairly certain that even if you love celebrities, cleanses, diets, and/or your work out, you also love something else in your life that's cool and just as interesting as a failing two-stroke engine.

And, if my prior rants about kids scared you off?  Please.  I would so much rather talk about your kids than celebrities, or cleanses, or diets, or body-dysmorphia.  Let's talk about them.  Please.

I guess this rant is a request to expand the acceptable default conversation topics for women who don't know each other.  We are smart.  We are interesting.  We can talk about all sorts of things.  Let's do that!


Arvay said...

You'd love Fairbanks! And Fairbanks would love you! :)

[No Nickname] said...

@Arvay -- it's very tempting...

bt said...

That last comment was me.

Miss E. said...

At the most recent event I attended (post our conversation about this topic) I made a concerted effort to stick to topics such as one's work, books we are reading, and sports injuries, but within a short amount of time found myself listening to the men as they talked about motors and fishing and what not. I have a bridal shower coming up, so it will be another test of whether I can steer the conversation away from such subjects.