Holy Sh*t

Today, E and I slowly walked towards the house after law firm #2 retreat.

It was completely different than law firm #1 retreat, starting with the fact that it was really a string of events where people could come in and out as they pleased, so WAY more people attended because it wasn't really a retreat for anyone except the summers. It was also very different because they put the summers up in porn star rooms with roman pillars around the stairs leading to four person hot tubs and mirrors above the magic fingers beds. (Okay, so maybe I'm slightly exaggerating...)

Much like firm #1's retreat, I enjoyed the activities and meals on this retreat and took advantage of them to get to know people from the firm better. I laughed at funny stories, and did my best not to be the entertainingly drunk summer associate. It was a good, but exhausting weekend.

Our slow, tired trek towards the front door was punctuated by my instinctual reach into the mail box. There was a large envelope (!) from a writing competition I'd entered several months ago. I tore it open as we walked in the door and read "Congratulations!"

Apparently, the billions of petty revisions my advisor had required of my journal note were not in vain. I actually won a decent chunk of cash, and a free trip to go accept the award in DC. I'm in shock, actually. It's probably the biggest honor I've received in the course of this whole law thing and I really wasn't thinking anything could come of it. I sent that note into at least five competitions, spending plenty of cash on each one. With each one I figured, I already wrote the damn thing...why not spend $70 on copies and shipping?

Now, no doubt because others thought it was silly to spend that much to make paper copies of an electronic document, I'm about to be the proud recipient of recognition, cash, and a free trip. I can't completely believe it, but I'm thrilled. How cool is that?

So, the moral of the story is this: if you have to write a note for your journal (or a seminar, or whatever), get a faculty advisor, work a little harder than you would have without one, and do the annoying photocopying, fedexing, etc. to enter writing competitions. The more ridiculous, the better--it thins the competition. Do it! You just might be surprised.

The next level

Sure, I've got a ring I wear every day (or rather, I try to remember to wear it every day). And we put a deposit down on the location to reserve the date. We've even been to a few catering tastings. The invitation list is mostly done. The save the date cards are ordered. We've got a friend who's probably going to do the photography and another friend who'll probably do the flowers. My sister-in-law will make the jewelery for my bridal party. We've looked at the hotel and possible locations for the rehearsal dinner. And I've tried on dresses on three occasions.

The first dress trying on attempt was at a chic-chic salon where I couldn't afford anything. The second attempt, my mom even cried at the first dress I put on. I laughed and pointed out that I looked like an automobile and asked her to at least save the tears for a dress that was flattering. Unfortunately, while everything in that store was reasonably priced, nothing was remotely attractive on me. The third attempt, however, I found a few dresses that could work in my price range and one I loved. I knew when I tried it on that it was too expensive. I was scared to find out how expensive, though, because I knew I'd buy it if it was less than 50% more than I'd planned to spend. Turns out, it was just at the high end of my budget. I was shocked. R, who was with me, went back to make sure that the woman knew which dress we were talking about because she was also shocked. The quality of the dress was very high and it seemed too good to be true that it was so "cheap." ("Cheap" as 50% more than I've ever spent on an outfit, with the baseline being the emergency suit I bought in 10 minutes at a Union Street boutique.)

Yet, despite all of this preparation, until yesterday, the wedding still felt like a normal event to be scheduled in my life. I finish work in two weeks, run a half marathon, school starts, N's wedding, a few trips, another couple half marathons, the MPRE is in November, the holidays, my first marathon in february, and I get married in March. It was just another stop on the train of my life this year. As AD informed me the other night, I'm "painfully pragmatic." So I figured, the stress of getting married -- that's for other people.

But, yesterday, the event took on a whole new level of reality. E2 and I went to the salon to see my dress and how it fit after the 5+ summer associate pounds have neatly settled themselves on my frame. It still fit, and E agreed that it looks beautiful. I figured I might be able to wait until September to order the dress, so D could see it when she visits and possibly I could whittle a few of the extra inches away. But the owner of the store quickly disavowed me of that notion. Apparently, the dress needs to be here 6 weeks before the ceremony in case I need alterations. With work breaks for Christmas and Chinese New Years, even if I ordered it yesterday, it wouldn't arrive 'til late January at the earliest.

So, that's it. I was measured and determined to be a particular size. Oddly enough, it was the size they had in the store and it fit reasonably well right off the rack -- this NEVER happens for me. The owner of the store knew her business, she discreetly asked me if I "maintain my weight" because the dress fits as is. I explained that I'm about 5 pounds heavier than I normally am, and we discussed the theoretical pre-wedding loss of weight that seems to accompany every woman's wedding. Turns out, I have a "nice bust" and unless I lose so much weight that it shrinks to the size it was when I was a teenage athlete with 13% body fat (oh, hell no) it will be the limiting factor in the size of dress I order. Kind of a relief, actually. I can gain a few more pounds or lose 10 and I still will have ordered the correct size dress.

So, I plunked down my credit card. And, for some reason, it feels so much more real. I'm getting married. Workers in a chinese factory will be cutting material to fit my body exactly and sewing what must be a million parts to put it together. Six months from now, the most expensive outfit I've ever worn will arrive in the bay area for me to try it on and have it altered. And all of of this effort is focused on one day. I'm excited, and I'm starting to see how this whole wedding thing could be stressful.

Drinking it in

As planned, I've been attending the social activities, enjoying a bit too much of the free food and alcohol, and putting my free time to very good use.

We've done a weekend with E's sister and her boyfriend including a friday night in San Francisco, winetasting in Sonoma, a party in San Rafael and another party in Cupertino. I wanted to post about the wineries we visited, but time got away from me. Suffice it to say that North Sonoma is much better for winetasting than Napa, in my opinion. Two weekends ago, I went on a wonderful retreat with one of the firms (which was awesome despite my whining post). This weekend, I left E in the heat of Silicon Valley (102F at home on Saturday!) to do the whole bachelorette weekend in a condo on the beach thing for my college roommate. The weekend with the girls was amazing: views of the California coast while running, wine tasting in the golden foothill valleys, eating too much, staying up late and laughing at old stories -- I'm so glad I was able to share it with some of my oldest and closest friends.

So far, this summer has been decadent, corpulent, and full of life at its fullest. But, I'm getting ready to be done. A week ago, I ordered a huge load of books from Amazon to make sure I fully enjoy my spare time this summer. When they arrived, I realized that I have no time to read them.

I've scheduled myself so tightly that I don't have enough time get enough sleep, much less hang out with E or read. I'm notorious for doing this. In fact, I looked at the calendar to figure out when it would slow down and was shocked to realize that of the 23 weekends left in the year, I'm out of town for 9 and have plans for 13 others. In other words, I have ONE remaining weekend left this year to stay at home and relax. So, of course, it's now scheduled in as "do-nothing-weekend." In my defense, this seems to be the year that many of my close friends have chosen to marry (with E & I coming in a little on the slow end next spring).

But I think it's funny that I'm looking forward to school starting so I can relax at home and study at night. I know when it's here I'll regret my longing. But right now, after unpacking my travel bag again I feel like multiple serial nights at home with E is a decadent luxury to be cherished, even if I'm reading several hundred pages a night to pay for the privilege.

It's not that I'm not having fun with my current life. Quite the opposite, in fact. I'm having fun like a professional. But I need to realize that I'm not a professional partier or socializer. It drains me and I need to slow down. It's funny how the grass is always greener...

Blessed Quandry

Living in a world of assumptions, I'm wondering what choice I will make if I get an offer from both Firm #1 and Firm #2. I like both. For completely different reasons.

Each one will set me down a very different path in my life and I will regret the opportunities lost behind either door, should I eventually choose to close it.

I wonder what I could have done in my life to deserve such a wonderful problem.

Then I remember that it's not actually my problem yet.

But, still, I can't help but assume and wonder...

The Wonder Spice

Sure, turmeric tastes damn good and appears to have anti-cancer properties.

But that's not all! It also permanently dyes the bristles on your toothbrush. That's right: the yellow-headed sonicare is mine.

So, the clean the fridge out treat of the week was very pretty:

3 Color Fusion

• Dice 3/4 white onion.
  
• Dice 2 roma tomatoes and one red tomato-on-the-vine.
  
• Sautee diced onion in olive oil. Add tomatoes, 1-2 T turmeric and black pepper to taste.
  
• Simmer until slightly soupy so that the base is an orange juice and orange-colored onion bits but the tomatoes are still recognizeable.
  
• Remove tomato salsa mixture and place in a bowl to cool.
  
• Finely dice 4 cloves garlic.
  
• Place garlic in sautee pan, cover with olive oil and simmer on medium heat.
  
• Add 1.5 bunches washed spinach.
  
• Sautee until wilted but slightly firm (in hindsight, perhaps they should have been sauteed until soft).
  
• Remove spinach mixture to a bowl and lightly salt.
  
• Warm corn tortillas.
  
• Place warmed tortillas, the orange/red mixture bowl, and the green mixture bowl to the table at the same time.
  
• Construct wraps by placing a layer of green topped with a layer of orange/red.
  
• Try to eat gracefully.
  
• Admit you can't eat it gracefully and cut into bite-sized bits of colorful goodness with a knife and fork.
  
• Talk about improvements, like baking with cheese (for structural integrity), or adding spiced chicken strips.
  

Really?

35+ hours of direct interaction between the summers and the associates and partners who attend. Lots of alcohol, good food, sponsored activities and, of course, they put us up in very swank rooms at a very swank resort. Overall, the firm retreat was lovely. I had a blast and feel like I know many of the people who attended much better than I did before we left.

The only major negative observation is about my future colleagues and the attitudes that the industry of law is willing to accept from its members. Apparently, it is acceptable for summers and associates to have such a sense of entitlement that they get angry when the free food, activity plans, or alcohol isn't to their liking. And, if they don't like the policy set by the firm, they think it is entirely acceptable to speak ill of servers as they bring the food, or to be rude to bartenders. In all honesty, I find this shocking.

Somehow this subset of the group chose not to see the retreat as a gift. They didn't consider that if they wanted something to accompany or replace any portion of the gift, they could purchase an alternative option. Instead of being appreciative, many of them complained about the free stuff and asked, nay demanded, for alternatives of their choosing (all on the firm, of course).

Realization: I find it hard to enjoy a wonderful environment when I am sharing it with even a few vocal winers/whiners.

I know it's not the firm. It's something about the type of people that want to end up in the practice of BIGLAW. Not all of them, certainly, but definitely some of them feel that the world owes them quite a bit according to their tastes and desires. Sure, it's annoying to be around. But more importantly, I can't imagine how miserable it must be to have your default response to gifts be anger, disappointment, and frustration.

What causes people to look at the world like this?

I couldn't resist

I got some spam today. Or so I thought. But after a careful reading, I determined that the misspellings were legitimate and it really was someone applying for a real job, with a real posting on the internet, which they referenced via the URL in the email. I read the message, and verified that the job application's intended recipient had an email similar to mine.

I opted not to forward it to the intended recipient. Attention to detail being a job qualification and all...

So instead, I replied to the sender, informed them of their mistake and...

Suggested several grammatical edits.

The author was were clearly ESL and qualified for the technical job posting (which happened to be in a field where I've hired people in the past). I thought my suggestions were a nice thing to do, but I enjoyed doing it a bit too much. Also, I thought it was funny. Imagine the surprise on the person's face when they get my reply.

Clearly, I'm a sick, sick, individual.

Do you think I'm going to get a thank you?

Books 12 & 13

So, the quest continues.

Book 12: Charming Billy, by Alice McDermott. D showed up with a rat and a couple of books a few barbeques ago. Fourth of July weekend arrived and I had no books to read. D's book won by default of being in the right place at the right time. So, I read this book, a National Book Award Winner, while relaxing in San Simeon for the holiday. It was good. Full of drama. Typical, really. The kind of book I wouldn't choose to read on my own, but being the kind of person who reads the back of cereal boxes, the kind of book I'd read without reservation if I had no other un-read books on hand. I've read worse on more than one occasion.

Bascialy, it was a sad, painful tale of Irish-American immigrants, alcoholism, catholicism, family, and all the drama therein. Like I said, it was good. I recommend it if you like this genre. It wasn't full of surprises. But it was great for what it was supposed to be. And really, is there any better epitaph? I'd like my tombstone to say "BT was great for what bt was supposed to be." Now, if only I could figure out what bt is supposed to be...

Moving on.

Book 13: The Da Vinci Legacy. This book was another gift from D of nym. But this one was much closer to my legal heart. Apparently, Lewis Perdue wrote this book, the original Leonardo religion thriller, back in the '80s. Then, Dan Brown gained acclaim for the Da Vinci Code and predictable accusations of derivative works ensued. To be fair, I have not yet read Daughter of God, so I am speaking without full knowledge. But, in this reader's opinion, the Da Vinci Code and the Da Vinci Legacy are CLEARLY very different books. Ironically, both belong to the same category in the world of BT -- mindless brain candy, good for killing a Sunday afternoon in a fit of sloth-like indulgence, but not anywhere near the realm of linguistic or literary perfection. Anyways, back to the review. The Da Vinci Legacy took me about 2 days to get through, and much of that short time period is due to the fact that Lewis Perdue drew me in and made me want to keep reading. So, if you're the kind who enjoys an escape full of impossible escapades, a wee bit of romance, and just damn good plot advancement against an excellently researched Italian backdrop, you should go for it. Read the Da Vinci Legacy (and don't forget to read the Da Vinci code for comparison sake!). I was glad that I did and I will be reading the Daughter of God one of these days merely for the pleasure of it. I'll do it even if I find nothing of interest to report to the blog regarding plagiarism.

Oh, and I'm not so sure that this whole working for a living thing is what I'm all about. That is all.

Happy Independence Day

E & I just concluded one of the best Fourth of July celebrations I can remember. Fireworks? Yeah, I've been listening to 'em loudly screaming and booming in the night. But I haven't seen a single one, unless you count the teenager across the street who threw poppers into the street so the cars that drove by would make 'em pop. Normally, the fireworks are a major part of the reason why I sleep with a smile after the 4th. But no, despite the awesome power of explosives, and my full support of a holiday that uses them for entertainment instead of evil, this Fourth was great because of the way it worked out, which somehow involved no staring at flashing light.

See, back in January, E2 and I looked for open campsites where we could camp and celebrate the holiday weekend. As is our norm, we were behind the curve and several of our first choices were already fully booked. Two years prior, E2 & I had gone to washburn campsite in San Simeon. The chemical toilets stank up the entire campground, the fog never cleared, the sites were too close, we were awoken every morning at the ungodly hour that old people think is morning by the sound of their RV generators that were 20 feet away at best on both sides, there were no trees at the campsite, there was only one hike and it wasn't that good, it didn't warm up above 65F the whole weekend, and well, in general, it was suboptimal. Sure, we had fun, because hey--it was vacation, and camping, and with friends--how could we not have fun. But, despite the fun, the other negatives made us cross San Simeon off the list of posssible summer camping destinations.

Never say never though. Because when everything else is booked for July by January, you start to reconsider your options. Damnit, we wanted to camp! So this time, we booked a site at san simeon creek instead of Washburn. This weekend couldn't have been more different than last time. Again, we were right next to the bathrooms (driving from the bay area on on a Friday night means you arive later than the locals and get to check into one of the last available sites), but they were flush toilets that were cleaned daily. And really, when camping, proximity to the toilets is not a bad thing if they don't stink. The building acted as a noise and wind block on that side while we were blessed with trees to block the noise and wind (and provide shade from the sun for E--who's a sun wuss, and doing Georgia proud with a nice red neck after this weekend). Unlike last time, where we had a nice view of the parking lot, the view from this site showed us deep blue ocean, a cliff, and behind us, the gorgeous california foothills. To make sure we enjoyed ourselves, the fog burned off each day around noon and beat the weather forecast by about 10-20 degrees (I'd resigned myself to 60 degree days, it would be worth it to hang out with friends and relax). So, now, I'm dark, full of Vitamin D and just generally happy.

E2 & S/O came as planned. Additionally, D & R (who decided on Thursday to fly up from Southern California--an AWESOME addition to the plans) showed up. We all hung out in the sun during the day, playing bocce ball on the beach, lazing around, drinking beer, wine, soda and water, getting sun burnt, eating gourmet food (car camping) and reading books. Each morning, E & I slept in. And each evening, we all gathered around the fire and talked about everything and nothing.

At the end of the weekend, E & I even managed to fit in a visit to my grandparents and I was happy to see that my papa's anger at the dog is expressed with more vehemence than the last time--clearly he is feeling better.

Overall, I can't imagine a better way to spend the holiday. Friends, sun, beach, bocce, grandparents, reading, sleep, and amazing food (thanks to E2 who did all the shopping and pulled some mad favors from the carniceria). At around $50 per person total for three days including food, lodging, and parking, it was a bargain of a vacation. And yet, despite the low price, in terms of enjoyment, it was high on the list of favorites for the year. Not to mention that there's nothing quite like that first shower after not showering after 3 days of dirt, smoke, smores and grime.

Basically, I feel very lucky to have spent such a wonderfully relaxing and fun weekend with friends who could join me and can't help but think that it's a future payment to compensate me for the weekend of sucktitude that July 4th will most likely be next year while I'm studying for the bar. Oh well. I'm full of good food, relaxed and tan. I'll worry about the bar when I'm actually studying for it. The focus this summer is on fun. So far, so good.

Who says the U.S. is the most litigious nation?

We don't even have an astrologist suing for damages resulting from space exploration.

Gotta admire the astrologist's gumption though...

The gift that keeps on giving

Tonight, we went through another two cans of the garbonzo beans (the Channa Masala was an excellent addition to the recipe file) from the stockpile I inherited from D when she ditched Norcal for Socal. Traitor.

Anyways, tonight's offering was falafel with harissa and a simple greek salad of whole milk yogurt, tomatoes, cucumbers and dill. It was quite a bit of work to make the falafel and harissa all in one night, but it was worth it. So yeah, another big thanks to D. If she's gonna abandon me, at least she left me with the ingredients to force me to make cowboy caviar, channa masala, and now falafel. I guess there is a silver lining in every cloud.

On a totally unrelated note, anyone who is a warm person have an opinion about the value of a visor while running vis-a-vis a mesh hat? The full material hat is not cutting it in the heat and I'm out for a replacement but I can't decide if the exposure to the direct sun is worth the evaporation.

Books 9, 10, almost 11, and 11

So, it's been since March that I've posted an installment in my approximately 25 book challenge list. Again, I'm glad I didn't join the overachievers in the 50 book challenge, because clearly, by now, I'd be beaten. But instead, at 11 books down and 14 to go, I've got a reasonable chance of meeting my goal. Hip hip hooray for mediocrity, moderation, and mmmm.... mmm.... something that starts with m.

Book 9 was way back in puerto rico: The House on the Lagoon, by Rosario Ferre. It may be the best book I've read so far this year. It had a little bit of everything, historical tidbits about a place I was visiting that I wouldn't otherwise know, a convoluted plot with a surprise twist at the end, complicated characters that the reader is forced to simulataneously love and hate, and, of course, gorgeous language. If you liked Love in the time of Cholera or 100 years of solitude you will also like The House on the Lagoon. All three books have a similar vein of genetic faultlines and humanity running through drama against a gorgeous backdrop. I know people who find this type of writing annoying. But, thankfully, I'm one of the appreciators who also happened to be in the setting of the book at the time I read it, so I thorougly enjoyed it and heartily recommend it.

Book #10: In keeping with the Raggaeton theme, book #10 was also a Puerto Rico read, also way back in April. I decided I needed to know more about the political writings of the Puerto Ricans because although I knew little about them as a people, I knew they were conflicted, particularly on the issue of their relationship with the U.S. So, I read Boricuas: Influential Puerto Rican Writings -- An Anthology. It was full of firey texts from revolutionaries, painful expository writings of those caught between cultures, and pragmatic but less passionate pleas for moderation from others. This book probably wins the award for the most educational non school text I've read this year. I started it with only The House on the Lagoon as my Puerto Rican cultural background. I finished it confused and impressed by the complex issues this culture faces. I was very glad to have read it during my stay in Puerto Rico and wholeheartedly recommend it to travelers who like to have an idea of the politics of the places they visit.

Book Almost #11: This is an embarrassment. As early as the beginning of March, I ordered and promised myself I'd read Barbara Tuchman's The Guns of August. I finished half of it in the last few days of our Puerto Rico trip and the flights back. But then, I stalled. It's an amazing book because it chronicles the beginning of World War I in astounding detail. But, if you become too busy and put it down for two weeks, I dare you to pick it up and have any clue who the generals are, which armies they command, and why it matters that they just decided to retreat instead of charge forth. Perhaps when I'm older and less distracted I will have the fortitude to get through this (and the half-finished copy of Ulysses that stays by my bed).

Book #11 (for reals): D stopped by with one of her rats the other day. She also brought books, and in particular, she brought Dancing Naked in the Mind Field by Kary Mullis. I'd refrained from starting any books for quite some time because I was still struggling with the falsehood that I would finish The Guns of August (I try to force myself to finish one book before I start another unless they are in completely different genres and the time spent reading one could not, in any estimation, be detracting from the time spent finishing the other--yeah, I'm a control freak). BHM is a huge fan of Kary Mullis, so when I found myself with a free weekend and a book by none other than the man himself, well, I figured the time had come to cut the cord on The Guns of August and face the facts. Good thing, too. I raced through the book in approximately 4 hours total reading time. I wasn't trying to read quickly, it's just an easy, entertaining read with large print (another reason to go for it over TGOA). The basic take home is this: Kary Mullis is brilliant, egotistical, oh, and totally completely insane. This is probably largely because he admits that he started using drugs at the age of 6 (phenobarbs from mom...) and moved up from there. I found it odd that this book simultaneously reminded me of Feynman's similar work as well as The Illuminatus Trilogy. So basically, reading Mullis is like reading Feynman on Acid. But seriously, if you're interested in the history behind the invention of PCR and the crazy mind of someone who could see the simple solution to a very important problem, read the book. If you have trouble believing that people who believe in aliens, astrology, and halucinogens as mind-enhancing drugs could be intelligent, then this book is a good one for you to read and open your mind. Or, it may just annoy you. The whole four hours my nose was buried, I was simultaneously entertained and astounded or annoyed. But the entertainment was the constant, hence the 4-hour read time. So I recommend it on that alone.

Lazy Weekend

Sometimes, flaking on established plans is exactly what you should do. I've been trying very hard to enjoy the copious spare time of being a summer associate. But, in perhaps the coolest move of the summer, I bailed on the scheduled 10K because I didn't feel like dealing with the crowds who'd be in the city for Gay Pride Weekend. Nothing against gay pride. Just something against crowds. And 40 mile drives to get to a 7:30 start time. And $30 registration fees to deal with all of it.

So, E2 and I agreed to abstain. And, on Friday night, after a dinner with the firm, for the first time since January 22nd, I found myself with a weekend approaching and no plans. Not a single one. I knew it had been a while, but I was surprised to find that my calendar had plans for every weekend since January 22nd. As E said, "no wonder this weekend feels like a vacation."

Clearly, the first thing to fill the void was sleeping in. And I did, getting slightly more than 9 hours of sleep on top of the roughly 7.5 to 8 I've been averaging all week (ahhh).

Then, I woke to find the weather cloudy and cooler than normal, so the impromptu short run with E2 extended to 6.06 miles at a 9:41 pace, which is slightly less distance and slightly slower than what we would have done at the race, but nothing to complain about. In keeping with the lazy theme, we walked a leisurely mile before the run and we strolled another 1.3 after. We talked about everything there is to discuss in our lives, showered, and went with E to our favorite mexican joint for a leisurely lunch. The rest of the day was a blissful compilation of laying in the sun in my new bathing suit, pedicures, reading, shopping for food, and cooking a spur of the moment dinner for local friends.

Today, there may be some shopping. There may be some bills paid. Or maybe I'll lay on the couch and play mario golf all day. Like I said, sometimes, it's good to be a flake.

Focus on Fun

Every day, I try to remind myself that my life isn't going to be this good again for a while, if ever. In all honesty, the summer associate gig is ridiculous.

Money? They pay us a lawyer's salary. We aren't lawyers. We aren't licensed to act as lawyers and as far as I can tell, we've done nothing else to deserve a lawyer's salary. From here, it looks like the young lawyer's salary is where it is because it's the amount necessary to convince a young attorney to do hard work and accept the decrease in quality of life related to the various evils of firms, which can include the pressure to bill, grumpy clients, lack of a social life and negative interactions with coworkers. But, during my summer associate gigs this year, both firms have explicitly asked me not to work too hard and insulated me from all of the other evils.

Events? Both firms I've been at this summer have a virtual "summers never pay for their lunch" policy. So each afternoon, as part of this job, I spend an hour to two hours of socializing with my future coworkers. Additionally, every week, there's getting to know the summers events, where the firm picks up the tab on entertainment, food, and often, alcohol (which often leads to great stories). So, I've spent quite a few hours this summer collecting a salary for the work of socializing with attorneys, but I'm not too interested in being a great story and I like to drive within the legal drinking limits, so I'm rarely the source of much entertainment. And yes, the sponsored fun isn't as great as hanging out with my own friends, but, it's free, and at least a quarter of the time during 9-5, which means that even if I would prefer hanging out with my own peeps, the majority of 'em wouldn't be available anyways.

Billing? "Oh, don't worry about it. You're a summer associate. Just do good work, finish the projects you accept, and only do as much as you can fit in between the social events, the training sessions, and the lunches." At both of my summer firms, the summers are encouraged to do between 20 and 30 hours of billable work per week. That translates into roughly 1,000 to 1,500 billable hours per year, assuming none of it is written off. As far as I know, there isn't a law firm in the country that would let you bill those hours for the standard 1st year associate salary. And yet, for 15 weeks this summer, I am encouraged to do just that.

Stress? Other than the knowledge that 1) every associate sees me as a ticket to a free multi-course meal and 2) I've got to fit into a wedding dress sometime this year, I can honestly say that nothing about the job stresses me out. Okay, there's a slight stress related to whether I'll get an offer, but everyone continuously reassures us that it's a good year for the firm, and they need all of the summers to come back. So, we're told, as long as we don't puke at a partner's house, or sexually harass a fellow employee, we're probably in the clear. Redardless of whether it's true, I believe they do want to hire us. I just can't fathom why they'd go to all the trouble of spoiling us rotten for a summer if they didn't really want to lure us back.

Gifts? As if the list above weren't enough. Both firms hand out logoed schwag to the summers on a regular basis. It started with "thanks for accepting our offer, we're excited to have you" gifts in the fall, then Winer Holiday gifts, followed by "sorry you have to take spring finals" gifts, and finally "welcome to the firm" gifts. I've heard people complain about how lame the gifts their firms give are, but that just seems rude to me. All of the gifts have clearly been thoughtful. Yes, I may already own some of the items in un-logoed form, but for the few that I didn't, I was happy to not have to buy my own.

Obviously, on a regular basis my logical voice kicks in with some observation about how this is too good to be true. The cynical/pragmatic voice then quickly shouts back that the firms see it as an investment. It's not as if the summer associate gluttony and sloth is unique to my firms. So, says the cynical/pragmatic voice, I can either question the wisdom of the entire system or just enjoy it.

When it means I'll be happier, I try to listen to my cynical/pragmatic voice over the incessantly questioning logical one. So, I'm going to enjoy it this summer precisely because I know it won't last. Next summer, I'll be studying for the bar. For several summers after that, if all goes well, I'll be excited for my one free lunch when I have time to take a summer associate out on the firm. In the crystal ball, I can't see the next time in my future when I'm going to have every weekend and evening free for 15 consecutive weeks. That's fine with me, because much like law school, a privilege for which I was willing to pay money, I'm willing to sacrifice a good portion of my evenings and weekends for my career, where at least they'll pay me.

The difficult thing is to avoid taking the royal treatment for granted and being disappointed when it disappears. Instead, I'd like suck the nectar from each free minute this summer and fully appreciate its rare beauty so that when it's gone, I'm not bitter, I'm thankful. So far, I've crammed our free weekends full of parties, visits with friends, travel, and camping. In the evenings, in addition to nights out, I've renewed my commitment to cooking, with a focus on trying the more complicated recipes that I've been putting off because there's never going to be a better time.

Things that come in threes

I just finished my third day at the third law firm I managed to convince that I'm somewhat employable.

There are three hundred thirty-three days 'til I graduate after finishing my third year of law school. Then, I get to take an exam that is three days long. At midnight, the night after the exam is over, I turn thirty.

There are at least three times three hundred thirty-three ripe and falling apricots on our tree. I will be spending lots of time picking up fruit this weekend. Just like last weekend. And probably the weekend after that, to go with the three theme.

Observations

I'm now at law firm #2. My final week at firm #1 was predictable -- lots of social events, less work, an all around good feeling to leave on. They are clearly professionals at this thing.

Firm #2 is bigger than firm #1 or the firm I worked at last year. In fact, it's a larger organization than all but one of my previous employers, including my consulting clients. This results in some very predictable big-firm cultural differences between firm #1 and firm #0. It's also interesting to note that some of the stereotypes about big, small, and medium-sized firms do not apply.

For example, I've seen the following choices when it comes to office space and can honestly say that each has its benefits and drawbacks:

• A clear hierarchy from partner through senior associate and down to secretaries with the typical extremes of corner offices and gorgeous views as well as partial cubicals and all the in betweens.



• An egalitarian system whereby most attorneys have identical offices and those with "nicer" ones are only there by accident, not seniority. Additionally, many paralegals and support staff end up in offices that are very similar to the attorneys.



• A mediocre mixture of the two, where no one who isn't an attorney has a certain type of office, but beyond that, it's kind of hard to know the pecking order without doing your research. Similar stories for support staff, only they have a glass office ceiling, so to speak.

But, what I've noticed more, (much to my furniture/architecture-focused sister's content, no doubt) is that the distribution of offices has way less of an effect on my perception of the layout and culture than the choice of walls. I've seen the following three types of walls to divide attorneys from the rest of the office and one another, and I've found that it has a much larger effect on the overall culture than the orientation of the offices:

• Real Walls. Real doors. Open door policy. Walk down the hall, look in, see the person and wave. If the door is closed, you know it's serious.



• Glass Walls. Real doors. No need for an open door policy. If people want your attention, they stand in front of the glass and gesticulate wildly. If you are on a call or deep in thought, you stop, motion back, and people get the message, whether it's 5 more minutes, go away, or something in between. Also, depending upon your computer orientation, each person who walks by can see what you are reading at all times.



• Glass walls with blinds. People choose the blind orientation that they like. Those who like the blinds drawn usually have an open door policy. Those who like the blinds open often close their doors when they were busy. Occasionally, people close both their blinds and their doors. You know not even to knock at that point -- just send an email.
  

I have noticed these various degrees of differences for so many things: expense coverage, printers, secretary coverage, furniture (obviously expensive, trying hard to be simultaneously expensive but not overbearing, and alternatively worn down and brand-spanking new), artwork, free/vending drink policies, free/vending snack policies, in-office services, library services, and more. It's amazing to me how much these things define what the office feels like long before you get to know the people. Career services and all successful attorneys I know say you should decide where you want to work based on the people, but I'm noticing that the environment says a ton to me about the people that the people themselves don't even know. And when I try to get to know the people, I can't help but notice that on some level they are busy, at least vaguely aware that they need to be covering their butts, and, in general, not my "friends." This is not to say that they will not grow to be so. But, to pretend otherwise and choose a future career based on the "friends" I've made this summer seems odd to me. I'd rather decide by the environment, how I feel overall, and the work. But that's just me.

A two hour tour

Today, I spent two hours looking over some agreements for a partner for whom I've done quite a bit of work. At the end, the documents were almost completely covered with highlighter. I know she'd sent them to me in hopes I'd review them, catch a few things worth noting, point them out, and, you know, actually make her life easier. I'd done this on a few other assignments this summer and she seemed to like my feedback.

Today, instead of making her life easier, I walked into her office and had to admit that I had no idea where to start, what to highlight, whether the general structure of the agreements was something worth getting worked up about or not, etc. She grimaced, told me that wasn't what she was hoping for, and added it to her to do list.

I'm serious, guys, I was fascinated by this agreement because I'd never heard of anything like it. And I had no clue what kind of opinion I was supposed to have about any of it. It was all building blocks I'd seen before, but put together in a configuration beyond my wildest imagination. It took me almost two hours to confirm that I really was completely clueless on this one and had no value to add. I knew the partner was too busy to walk me through it, so I just sucked it up, walked in, explained that I didn't know how to handle it, and walked out. At least she was nice about it.

It's good to know that there's plenty of room to learn new stuff at firm #1 -- I was concerned that I might get bored with my future career, but if the last few weeks are any indication, I'm going to be thrilled. So while my efforts were a waste of the firm's money in the short term, it was probably one of the best investments they've made thus far, in terms of getting the talons in.

Ready to drink the kool-aid and sell my soul. Sign me up.

The bummer of silence

I've got lots to say about my summer associate experience thus far. But most of it just isn't appropriate for blogging.

It sucks, because my thoughts on the law firm experience at this firm, how I fit, how I don't and the industry generally are most likely way more entertaining than my what I did this weekend posts.

But, enough people know who I am, and many more could figure it out if I gave details, so I have to exercise discretion.

Right about now, I'd love to vent and figure out how I feel about this stuff by writing and re-writing and finding exactly what it is that I want to say to the world who reads my blog (who, for the most part, or at least 50%, are strangers to me). But, that option isn't available to me because at the end of the day, I really like practicing law. And that whole attorney-client privilege thing, plus the importance of showing that you are trustworthy and understand the importance of taking actions to prove that point keep my lips sewn shut.

Suffice it to say that no matter how much I thought I had it figured out, I was wrong. I've got more information now and I'm confused. Things I thought would be major issues to contend with just don't exist. Major issues have arisen that I hadn't previously considered. I can't believe how lucky I am to be exposed to all of this.

Oh, and I'm tired. In that good way that you get tired while traveling in a country where you don't speak the language. That alone tells me I like this stuff because I'm struggling each day to understand and learn in a foreign environment that is becoming less foreign with each passing day, but still is nothing close to home.

Angie

In case you were wondering, Angelina Jolie is hotter than ever in Mr. And Mrs. Smith. The movie is pretty good if you're an Angelina fan and decent if you're not. The dialogue is amusing in many places because the screenwriters realized it needed some comedy to relieve the cheese factor of the unbelievable violence, sexual tension, and general ridiculousness.

In short, if you like to look at pretty people, it's got both brad and angie and it's WAY easier to sit through than either of the tomb raiders.

Summertime Socializing

This weekend, we'd scheduled a relaxing weekend at home. We picked a bad weekend to attempt to relax and do nothing, however, because we are blessed with much to celebrate:

P got her masters in Mechanical Engineering. In one of those true acts of loyalty, I actually sat through the entire ceremony so that I could cheer for her. Then E joined me and P's family for a very late, oh-too-filling dinner of singaporean specialties. I went out on a limb and ordered chili crab for the first time. It was good stuff and I was about to explode when we left. I don't care if the chili sauce originated to mask the lack of freshness of the crab, it's a brilliant innovation in food and I was excited to enjoy it.

MH got his bachelors after a 10-plus-year twisting path through his secondary education. I never doubted he'd finish if that was his goal, but it was still an excellent excuse to go visit with his family and hang out with old family friends, so E and I drove across the bay and spent saturday afternoon at the H's.

Today, T & B had a "yeah-it's twins" baby shower, again, across the bay, only farther north. Additionally, unlike your ordinary baby shower, which is just for the ladies and uncomfortable for the others, this one was a barbeque for families and friends of all sexes and included a keg and a DJ. We arrived to learn that they'd also gotten married this weekend, so the celebration wasn't just double the fun, but triple. We were glad we'd made the drive to celebrate with them.

From T&B's, we headed to W's to check out his new house and to say congratulations on the house buying. The house is gorgeous, huge, with amazing views, and yet another thing well worth celebrating.

We made a quick stop home to change into nice clothes and then headed out to bear's graduation dinner. It was wonderful to see our mutual friends, his parents (it had been at least two years), his siblings, and to meet the extended family about whom we'd only heard stories. Go bear. Congrats.

And now, we're home. We're exhausted. The weekend is over and we could really use another one. Starting tomorrow night, we've got a week full of social activities lined up (some associated with the law firm, others chosen by ourselves).

This happens every year. I can't complain -- it's all fun. And no doubt, next summer, when I'm studying for the bar, I'll be wishing I could be going from party to party. But boy, it's always amazing to me when I realize that the idea of a relaxing summer weekend is a myth for us. Perhaps next weekend.... (right)