March 29, 2006

It Begins

After the wedding, I had about 2 weeks of low frequency nightmares. For me, this is amazing. I have them all the time. Last night, it was particularly bad.

Once, E and I barely swam away from a plane that crashed into a lake. We swam away bobbing under water intermittently. Former coworkers of mine passed us doing heads-up freestyle. We bobbed to the left out of their path after they passed us. The plane exploded. Everyone except E and I went up in flames (because of the path of oil/gas they trailed behind them while swimming through the top of the water). I woke in a cold sweat.

I fell back asleep only so E could jump out of a helicopter while it was a few feet from the ground and careening to its demise. He started to run away leaving me in the thing. Realized I hadn't followed, he turned around and waited 'til the helicopter was closer to the ground and started yelling at me to jump out the back. I yelled at him to get out of the way and not get crushed. He put his hand in the helicopter, I ran beneath the blades, grabbed his hand and jumped. We ran away just before it exploded. I woke certain that I could be the reason E did something stupid that hurt him.

Finally, I fell back asleep to find myself in the hospital and my dad wasn't getting better. He insisted on getting up and walking by himself but he was very unsteady. I yelled at him to get his walker, and he turned around, confused. I was too far away. I yelled at the nurse that he was going to fall. She got there just in time, but couldn't catch all of his weight so he fell anyways and hit his head. I ran to his side and we both cried at his declining health.

My stomach hurts this morning.

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