July 16, 2006

Bar: This sucks

I think this is another low point.

I can see the bar coming. It's close enough to have me mildly stressed. It's still far enough away, however, that I'm daunted at the idea of keeping this up for the remaining 8 days. Those 8 days seem very long.

Plus, my dad is still in the hospital and I'm just generally bummed about that. He's slowly getting better, but he's depressed and not as healthy as he wants to be.

I found out through the family grapevine that he got some mildly bad news a few days ago, which he has been hiding from me. Ordinarily, I'm in constant contact with the nurses and I know about his health better than he does. But right now, I can't do the multiple phone calls, the waiting on hold, the sweet-talking of the stressed out nurses. So I'm in the dark.

Even in the hospital, he wants to take care of me. He's my dad.

And I want to be there to take care of him. Being there seems more important than this daily onslaught of cramming and spewing law that wouldn't pass muster in any acceptable legal practice anywhere.

But, he's not in any state where I can do anything for him. I want to go for selfish reasons, to assuage my guilt, and to get away from all of this. He wants me here. Studying.

Like I said. This sucks.

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