April 17, 2005

A request for United Airlines

If any of you have any pull with the people who write the scripts for United Airlines--Please ask them to eliminate the phrase "from the comfort of your seat" from all announcements.

It adds nothing except insult to "we'll be walking down the aisle with a menu to give you the opportunity to purchase a snack box from the comfort of your seat." Everyone really knows the addition of "from the comfort of your seat" is code for "don't bother trying to get up, you're stuck. And NO we don't have a meal for you because we lost all of our cargo contracts so we have to try to make up the difference by sticking it to passengers whenever we can. So, if smelling the meals served in first class makes you so hungry that you can't make it to the next stop, we'll happily take advantage of your situation and charge you $5 for a box of stale packaged processed snacks."

"We'll be giving you an opporunity to watch the in-flight movie from the comfort of your seats" irks in the same manner. No shit? From the *comfort* of my seat? Did you have to remind me to think about how *uncomfortable* my seat is? Couldn't you just start the movie politely and let me do my best to ignore my lack of comfort?

Yeah, United is not my favorite company right now. Between the dropped oxygen mask debacle on the way to Australia and the 4 hour delay in ORD on the way back yesterday, I'm not the biggest fan. But, we've still got rebate coupons to use and we've racked up miles, so we're kind of stuck. And they know it.

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