May 23, 2003

Moderation...

In an earlier post about lawnmowers I complained about the problems of trying to take the middle road.

While I may be an ideological moderate, however, unfortunately I'm actually a practicing extremist when it comes to many things. Like taking care of my stress levels.

So now, I'm suffering from some pretty intense heartburn and slight nausea. I'm popping Tums, Zantac and Prilosec and promise myself that I will sleep a TON this holiday weekend.

A week from now, I'll be better and able to exist on the occasional tums. That is, until next time when I start to get a little out of control, letting my brain spin in useless circles of what-ifs, denying myself sleep, drinking acidic red wine with dinner even if my churning stomach is screaming save me, saying yes to every opportunity, working out like a mad-man, suffering annoying occasional dizziness, and basically ignoring all the minor warning signs that I know so well.

Given that I've been getting to this point about once every 6-8 months for the last 3 years, I don't have much hope for my ability to recognize the impending spiral of doom and just say, "No." I'm fearful that the frequency of these attacks may increase substantially in Law School.

On the other hand, every time this happens I get just a little bit closer to taking up meditation. Perhaps one day I'll actually do that.

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