December 22, 2012

2012: Books 1-5


Title
Author
Review
Run Faster From the 5K to the Marathon
Brad Hudson
An interesting perspective on adaptive training and using feedback to get the most out of what you are doing.
Racing Weight
Matt Fitzgerald
A very different look at nutrition than one I've ever taken.  I appreciated the new perspective.  Turns out, if I want to be disciplined, I can manage my macronutrients in my sleep, but I definitely need to pay much more attention to my micro-nutrients than I have been (I was rarely hitting the RDAs for potassium and iron despite maintaining what I thought was a very healthy diet.)
The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake
Aimee Bender
A clever tale of transcendent children who travel on emotional and spiritual planes that intersect uncomfortably with the physical.  Well done.
Run Less; Run Faster
Bill Pierce, Scott Murr, and Ray Moss
Only time will tell, but I was inspired by the data in this book and look forward to applying its principles in my 2012 running. (Note: Time told that this approach was not for me.  There were no "just go out and run" days on the schedule and I found that I needed those days, as running is as much a mental release as a physical one for me.)
Ready Player One
Ernest Cline
Oh fun!  As a child of the eighties, this easter egg hunt of pop culture and nerdy self-consciousness was a fabulous escape on a work trip to Washington D.C.  Gamers, techies, and nerds who grew up in the 80s will adore Mr. Cline's attention to all of their childhood loves.

December 21, 2012

2012: The Year In Books, Part 1

2012 has been an amazing year for me, book-wise.

I get an uncommon amount of my life pleasure from books.  I know this about myself.  And yet, not since before college have I gone so far out of my way to make reading for pleasure such a major priority in my life.  I am pleased with this change, and wonder just how far I can push it, in terms of increased value in my life.

Most importantly, I discovered audio-books.  So while I also spent the year visually reading the words of more pages per day than my norm, in addition,  I consumed 5 great books that I otherwise wouldn't have experienced.  I suspect that running, slowly, with an audiobook (or slowly using any of the cardio machines at the gym) may be my default "keep-myself-healthy-as-long-as-possible" work-out as I slide toward the comforts of middle age.

Second, I set a goal of 9,000 pages to avoid the short book shuffling I did in 2011.  It worked like a charm.  I'm still closing out the year, but I fit in IQ84 and Reamde without any concern -- Unlike last year, when I was shooting for total books and worried about the 900+ page options.  This year's page count goal made the big bertha books just as attractive as their emaciated cousins.

I've got 9+ days to go and I'm guessing I'll land just short of 12,000 pages with an additional 6 audiobooks.

Reviews for all will come in over the last few days of the year.

December 16, 2012

Zombie Runner Bay Trail 5 Mile

Yesterday, I headed out for the Zombie Runner Bay Trail 5 Mile.

It was the largest race they'd ever hosted with about 700 participants between the marathon, the half marathon, and the 5 miler.  Nice local race, although expensive -- $50 for day-of registration for the 5 miler if you opted out of the t-shirt.  If I'd been more on the ball, it could have been $40 for advance registration, but work and life have been much too crazy for me to even see the race registration ball, much less be on it.

My goal was simple -- string together some faster miles to prep for next week's 5K.  I'd run some mile repeats in the 8:30/mile range earlier in the week and had been amazingly sore the next day, so I was interested to see what pace I could sustain and how painful it would be to do so.

At the start, it was quite cold for these parts, in the high 30s -- you could see everyone's breath.  I started in running shorts, knee-high compression socks, a long sleeve technical shirt, and my running jacket.  I never took my running jacket off -- I just wore it to the finish line and on my cool down.  It didn't really warm up too much by 9 AM.  At the finish, my hands were steaming, which was something I'd never seen before.  (I am *not* one of those runners whose hands get cold on runs.)

The majority of the race was an out and back on portions of the trail I regularly run, around the golf course and the airport.  They did add a section I'd never realized was part of the trail system -- a sort of back route to the duck pond, so that was a nice discovery.

I started with a mile at 8:43, thinking I could probably sustain 8:45s for the full distance.  It looked like the course was actually 4.8 from the aid station information, so I was hopeful that I could really push it for such a reasonably short distance and then I could do a nice slow 2+ mile cool down.

Ummm.  No.  8:43; 8:48; 9:03; 9:04; 8:51 (mile pace for the last 0.7 on my garmin).  While the first two felt good and relaxed, like I was holding a little something back, that third and fourth mile were a struggle, and the last bit was at almost full effort.  Certainly, the gravel and trail sections slowed me down a bit compared to the pavement (first and last mile+), but I wasn't too impressed with myself, regardless.  After mile 2, I don't think I passed a single person whereas somewhere in the range of 10 people passed me despite me trying to prevent it each time.

I did Bikram last night, and while I didn't wake up sore, I do wonder if perhaps stretching, holding poses that require muscle tension, and sweating an insane amount for 90 minutes in a 106F room isn't the best thing to do the night before trying to push on speed. On the other hand, perhaps it was just what the doctor ordered and prevented me from pushing too hard and injuring myself.  Hard to say. 

Overall, it was 4.7 miles at an average pace of 8:54.  Then another 2.35 to cooldown at a leisurely jog.  A great run, for sure.  Beautiful day, hard effort, and a nice friendly group of people.  But it definitely showed me that I have some work cut out for me to get my speed back.

The good news is that this morning, I am nowhere near as sore as I was the day after the mile repeats.  So that's a bit of progress of sorts. Today, I've got a nice easy 3.25 on the calendar with E and that'll be the end of the running week.

An enjoyable week of 25.6 miles, all at average paces in the 9s or 8s.  Nothing too long.  Nothing too fast.  But focused on recovering some of the spring that the marathon always seems to suck out of me. 

December 12, 2012

Facebook Vacation

I've confirmed that today's Facebook's privacy changes allow strangers to see everything in your timeline if they search for you by name.

I was annoyed but putting up with the reality that people could tag me in photos or posts without my consent and it was up to me to delete the tags.  Essentially, this meant I had extra work -- I had to regularly login and confirm that everything where I was tagged was something I wanted everyone to know about me.  If I didn't regularly login, someone could tag me and it could stay up, visible on my timeline for my entire network until I finally got around to taking it down.

But, before today, I was one of the (apparently very few) users who hid their entire Timeline from search. As of today, that feature is now gone.  So, I had to go through my entire timeline and "hide" the things I did not want viewable by strangers in connection with my name.  Mind you, I'd already done this by "hiding" my entire timeline.  Again, like publication of tags of my facebook profile without my consent, the publication of the timeline to anyone who searched for me by name caused me extra work.

I'm guessing the day is soon coming when facebook will cater solely to people who do not share my privacy concerns.  At that point, even if I'm willing to do all the work, the features I want just may not be available.

So, I'm taking the rest of the year as a facebook holiday to evaluate my options for (a) how much I actually miss facebook; and (b) if I miss it enough, how to address this issue in 2013.

December 9, 2012

Cram It All In

For the post-marathon recovery week, I did very little, physically.  Lots of rest, approximately 7 miles of walking, a Bikram session (much harder than expected as the first *real* workout I attempted the Wed after a Sunday marathon), a 30 minute session of cardio at the gym including a 1.25 miles on the TM, and I capped it off with a glorious weekend of walking around San Francisco and a 3 mile Sunday AM run on the Embarcadero with my husband.

I love running with my husband.  I was so happy to enjoy the weather, the views, the people watching and the experience of breathing hard and moving well together.  Such a privilege.  I very much hope he is willing to continue to do this with me, because it is awesome.

Around these minimal workouts, I stuffed everything and anything that would fit in the holiday season last week.

Tons of work from clients frantic to get things done before the holidays?  Check.

End of year billing and accounts receivable hurdles? Check.

Mandarin night dinner of Peking Duck with the Mandarin Ladies?  Check.

The usual mixture of professional lunches and coffees for networking, potential new clients, and maintaining relations with people in my field?  Oh, at least 3 of those.

Good friend going into labor causing obsessive phone status eval?  Check.

But wait, there's more.

The friend had a very happy and healthy baby girl.  Go baby RB!

Saturday AM, we tried to fit in a NAR high power rocket certification for both me and E. Unfortunately, the fog ceiling disagreed, so despite our rockets being ready to go, the weather won out (as it often does with respect to rockets).

After that, we checked into our hotel and hit up 3 holiday parties in SF in less than 24 hours where we reconnected with old friends and made new ones.  Plus, in addition to the run along the Embarcadero, we also fit in a a brunch with friends we hadn't seen in a long time to catch up at the delicious Gracias Madre (Vegan mexican food? I know. I was suspicious too.  But it was amazing!).

All told, I think I had the most social interactions I've had in 48 hours since a very long time (probably sometime last holiday social blitz).  If I was good at names, I could tell you the names of the 10-15 new people this weekend (but I'm not, so that's a bummer...).

In short, this introvert is exhausted.  But proud.  It was a very productive week.

December 4, 2012

CIM 2012: The Good

The race was so FUN!  Much to my surprise, running in the storm with thousands of other folks was a blast.  I don't think I've heard that much laughter on a race course, ever.

Definitely, for me, part of the fun was the abandonment of a time goal. After the long bathroom break, I just kind of relaxed and enjoyed the whole experience in a way I've never done on a road marathon.  I never hit the, "oh man, this is really difficult, I don't know if I can keep doing this" phase.

While triumph over the internal mental struggle and maintaining race pace as long as possible is one of the best sources of the sense of accomplishment you get from a marathon, it's also quite uncomfortable.  I was never actually uncomfortable (other than the chafing) on this marathon.  I never got too hot. Never too cold.  Never struggled with keeping my pace.  My breathing was never labored.  It was actually kind of *easy* -- which is not a word I associate with the marathon.

Several new things were quite good for me about this race:

1.  I used duct tape to create a handle on a water bottle with a sport top.  I filled it with gatorade and I brought my own Gus in my Gas Cap.  This meant that I was able to avoid the crowds at the aid stations until my electrolyte bottle was empty.  The bottle lasted me all the way past the half marathon.  Once it was empty, I threw it in the trash at the next aid station and then quickly walked through the later lesser-crowded aid stations when I needed water or electrolyte drinks for the remainder of the race.  This was brilliant and I will definitely be doing this in future marathons.  

2.  A tank top with gloves with fingers cut out was just perfect to keep me from getting too cold when the rain and the wind picked up.

3.   My Brooks Adrenaline GTS 12 handled the water amazingly well.  I don't think I'll go out of my way to avoid puddles in the future.  They dry out surprisingly fast if you keep running after wading through standing water.

4.  I took my MP3 player on the course for the first time ever.  I let myself turn it on at mile 16.  It was a definite pick me up.  I'll be bringing music on future races as well, although I need to figure out how to get it out of my pockets and into my ears in a faster fashion.

And, I finished a marathon, running the whole time (at a nice easy pace) -- anytime you can do that, it's Good.  I feel healthy, strong, and very alive -- all of which are good things.

Splits:

Notable miles:

Mile 3 -- Ditched the 4:25 pace group because they seemed to be going too fast. Stopped for 40 seconds to take off my running pants and saw Jen.  We ran together to close the gap on the group ahead and use them as wind blockers before we parted.

Mile 4 -- 4:36 portapotty break.  When I was done with this stop, all desire to race was gone.  I was just going to run easy and have fun.

Mile 9 -- Finally completely ripped off the heavy duty trashbag.  This took much longer than I'd expected and slowed me down quite a bit.  Just another reason the dollar store poncho is the way to go next time.

Mile 16 -- Music reward.  Pulling out my MP3 player, detangling it, and getting it in my ears also took longer than I'd expected.  The music was worth it, so I'm going to need to figure out how to get faster at this trick. 

End of Mile 25 -- 46 second break at the light rail tracks.  The lights were flashing.  The arms came down.  No trains to be seen.  Eventually a cop just waived us through.  I was very glad I wasn't racing for a time goal when this happened.  I just slowed to a walk and waited at the red and white arms, confused.  But I wasn't the least bit angry, which I would have been if I was racing.

Last 100 ft -- a woman I'd been running ahead of for the last few miles decided to try to edge me out in the finish chute.  Really?  I mean, come on, the race for the podium was over a while ago!  For some reason, this move on her part seriously annoyed me and since I hadn't run hard, I had plenty of pep in my step to drop her.  This is how I closed out the marathon at a pace faster than any of the intervals I ran in the whole training cycle.     

Oh, and my goal to run an even race for the first time in my life?  I'd forgotten about that one when I decided to relax and have fun.  But, somehow, thanks to the portapotty stop, I accidentally almost nailed it.  Check out my chip splits:



Mile   5.9 1:02:51
0:10:39
Mile 13.1 2:19:18
0:10:38
Mile    20 3:33:15
0:10:40
Mile 26.2 4:39:29
0:10:40

Marathon #8, Done.  Totally different than what I'd expected, but very fun.



December 3, 2012

CIM 2012: The Bad

So first, let me preface this by saying that the race, overall, was super fun, and great, and the GOOD post is yet to come.  I'm glad I did it.  It was *not* bad.

But, there were many bad things.  Many of which were my fault.

The weather was not my fault.  But it was pretty bad and definitely at the root of many of the other bad things.

My attire choices were bad.  First, I didn't go buy a cheap poncho to deal with the weather.  I bought gloves with cut off fingers, which is hilarious, because while they were the greatest thing ever, and I was super happy to have them 'til some random house in the fabulous 40s, apparently, I didn't need to attend to this detail at all.  At the expo. the race gave us gloves when we picked up our gear (I got two pairs!!).  So I covered the issue they covered, but what I didn't do is buy a cheap poncho.  Instead, I spent about 3 hours regretting this during the race.  Everywhere I looked, there were people in nice, light, easy to move water repellant ponchos.  With hoods!  Those Jerks With Their Awesome Rain Gear!  But not me!  I opted for the *heavy* duty trash bag.  Key word?  "Heavy."


The first 3 miles, this seemed like a brilliant choice.  When a tail-wind came, I'd spread my wings and fly!  Cross-winds and head-winds, on the other-hand? Not fun in my heavy-duty sail, but at least I was relatively dry.  I wasn't yet tired, so it hadn't occurred to me that the folks in the cellophane looking things were equally dry, but much less strained by their gear.

Oh, did I mention that I didn't have time to take off my throw-away sweat-pants before the start?  After the 4:25 pace group took mile 2 at sub 9:30, I decided to stop and remove them.  Garmin says this took about 40 seconds because I had to remove them over my shoes.  They had tight ankle elastic.  Yet another bad attire choice.

Anyways, back to the heavy duty trash bag dress of awesomeness.  As time went on, the bottom of my "dress" kept clipping my calves, and eventually, I tore both the front and back into strips I could knot to make it shorter and more tight fitting.  These knots limited my running stride and collected water that I had to carry.  In short, the heavy duty trashbag is sub-optimal.  Go for the super-cheap dollar store light poncho.  Note, due to the weather, the protection was important enough that even in its sub-optimal state, that I kept it on 'til mile 8 or so.

The Chafing was also bad.  Part of this ties back to the bad attire issue.  Unbeknownst to me, I should have worn shorts.  I didn't.  The pain started about 1/3-race and continued to the end and through the rest of the day, as open sores in a long car ride trying to heal against the dry clothing you change into post-race will result in a particularly non-fun exit from the car after a couple of hours of inactivity.  Today, I am covered in bright red scabs.  Super sexy!

The in-race porta-potty situation was bad, too.  The pre-race porta-potty situation at CIM is legendary: they pride themselves in their abundance.  I, unfortunately, did not take the time to wake early enough to eat and have my coffee and show up in enough time use the abundance.  Instead, I slept in as much as possible after a night of non-optimal race food, had my coffee and bars and hopped out of the drop-off car at the last possible moment to ran to the start whereupon I arrived at the 4:25 pace flag about 1 minute before the gun.  I've never actually started a marathon with a full GI tract post dinner of too much Mexican food and alcohol followed by breakfast and coffee with no useful GI bathroom break.  I think I'd like to never repeat this experience.

The AM late arrival displays a common theme.  My commitment was bad.  I realized mid-week that I wasn't coming close to my already-revised time goal due to weather, and I kind of just started to phone it in race-wise.  I committed to social obligations and didn't pay attention to food or attire (hence the majority of this post).  The night before the race I hung out with 2 couples we hadn't seen in a long time and in doing so, I had 1.5 glasses of wine, a beer, lots of water and tamales and tacos instead of my usual pre-race no alcohol noodle soup routine.  My original plan had been to show up with my own soup at our hosts.  Right.  That plan was derailed without much dissent from me, and there you go.  I ate and drank what was served.

My lack of dietary and early wake-up coffee commitment meant that I needed a porta-potty on-course, pretty much immediately after the start.  I felt great, otherwise, and given the long lines at the first few, I pressed on with the 4:25 pace group, even as they sped up to paces that didn't seem to make any sense (the last mile before I bailed, they were sub 9:30 and I bailed on an uphill portion).  The thing is, I was not alone in my late arrival to the start.  I left my driver with 0.3 miles to go to the turn around and there were a mile of cars behind us.  I ran through the storming rain and wind to the 4:25 pace group and barely made it before the start.  Most of the driven runners were waiting in the non-stormy comfort of their drivers' cars 'til the last minute (like me, but even moreso).  Also, after the start it became clear that at least one large shuttle arrived after the start, so that as we headed out, we were running *against* runners who were running to get to the start and cross the mats.

I repeat: The in-race porta-potty situation was bad.  This was not the race organizers fault (except, perhaps for the late shuttle, but really, what are they going to do, leave the late shuttle folks stranded?).  Due to weather and a desire to limit time getting drenched at the start, many runners (myself included) started without the appropriate pre-race bathroom time.  I skipped the first few porta potty stations because the lines were just too long.  But at mile 3.5, I couldn't wait for another option.  So I stopped.  And as I waited for an open option, I stared at 2 port-o-lets pushed door-down to the ground by the wind, clearly understanding that my situation was not dire -- I was not in them when it happened.  And yet, despite my instantaneous committed gratefulness practice, it continued to rain and the wind continued to blow.   

4 minutes and 36 seconds later, I got back on the course.  Cold.  Stiff. And with a group of folks who race much slower than I am used to.  But I was wearing an extra large trash bag and it was storming and really who knows what is the appropriate speed under these conditions?  Also, it felt pretty comfortable to run at the pace they were running.  Possibly because my trash bag dress was tied to restrict my stride.  But either way, I was enjoying running at roughly my long run training pace and laughing at the hilarity of the weather and the miles to come.  Who was I to complain?  As I said, when it comes to racing this race, My commitment was bad.
 
But it was still a great day.

December 2, 2012

CIM 2012: The Ugly

Surely you've heard of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (the finest of *all* Spaghetti Westerns?)

If not, watch it somehow, STAT.  Either way, I reference it here because it's a hilarious time capsule of culture, was one of my father's favorite movies, and, most importantly, because it's a great set of words to summarize an event.

I've decided to take them in reverse order. So, without further adieu:

The Ugly (the back of my right knee, post race):


Chafing --If you do research on running in severe raining conditions, you will find quite a bit of information on chafing.  Apparently, tons of water from the sky for hours makes the friction for your skin against itself and material much, much more likely to cause abrasion.  The reports I read were so scary that I bought a BodyGlide stick for the first time ever and applied it *quite* liberally to any place I'd ever had chafing on any run in the past.  Also, I cheated on my favorite socks and bought drymax socks.

End result?  My feet were pruned and purple, but not a blister to be found. All the normal places where I have had any chafing issues in the past were fine -- BodyGlide is powerful stuff.  I think next time I'm just going to go for a full body application, though.

Because despite running in the exact same tights I wore on my last long run I had tons of unexpected areas of redness and raw skin where the seams must have just swollen in the water, or the material expanded in the water and stuck to the creases of my skin, or who knows what.  Either way, it was gross, and not fun.  The knee above is the least of it, in terms of actual open wounds I'm nursing, but the rest is NSFW.  This pain kicked in around 10 miles or so and continued throughout the remainder of the race.  Like I said, Ugly.

The Bad and The Good are to come.

December 1, 2012

CIM Week 0

Well, tomorrow is the big (rainy and windy) day.

18 weeks, and a little of 500 miles, including 267 in the last 8 weeks.  Not a bad final result given that I felt like I was seriously off track just 5 weeks ago. Today, I did my last run in the drizzle: 0.3 easy, 1 mile at target MP (9:32), 4X100 strides and short jogging cool down for a total of 2.1 miles.

Even though I'm heavier than I'd like to be,  I'm healthy and I feel strong.  Today's run, the legs and body felt great and bouncy in that awesome fully tapered way.  It's such a blessing to be able to feel like this -- so alive.

Even so, given the weather, I'm not going out with my target pace group.

If it turns out the weather doesn't affect me too much, after the first few miles with the slower pace group, I'll up the pace to my original target (or something close to it) and just try to maintain it for the rest of the race.

The fact that I'd already decided I wasn't trying to PR this race has made it very easy to deal with the ridiculous weather.  My goal is to relax, have fun, finish, and (ideally) to run an even or a negative split race.  Like SarahOUaL, I just want to run a race I'm proud of.

Also, if my plan to borrow one works, I may run with a GoPro on my head to record the ridiculousness of the weather.

Have a great weekend, Everyone.

November 28, 2012

Moving Target

So, yesterday's track workout was great. Overcast. Cool. Nice easy warm-up. 5X400 in the 7:25 - 7:45/mile pace range with jogging 400s for recovery. Nice easy cool-down. My legs feel great. But the weather appears to have plans to slow me down. As of today, the forecast for CIM is suboptimal:


So, um, yeah. About that afore-mentioned pace goal of 4:10. I think I'll be calling that a *soft* goal and will continue to re-assess as necessary. If I actually do have to run in a torrential downpour, I think my goal will be just to finish and to run as much as I can without risking injury. In the meantime, I'm going to buy a parka and some throw-away sweats and keep hoping the "Atmospheric River" runs quickly through the region and clears out before Sunday AM.


Perhaps I'll end up going back to my plan to capitalize on CIM as a training run for another winter marathon after all...

November 26, 2012

Good Signs

Today was a good day for building race confidence for CIM.

First, I made it to the 10 AM Bikram class on time. I stayed in the room the whole time but tried to remind myself to take it easy for the taper. I opted out of second triangle and first full locust pose, but did all of the rest.   Another milestone down -- No more Bikram 'til recovery.

As usual, I started counting down the minutes left in the "torture chamber" as soon as we were in the floor series (maybe even beforehand).  Rather than look at the minutes as minutes and bargain with myself to tough out the remaining time like I usually do, I converted it to end of the race distances based on my goal pace and told myself things like, "Oh, 32 minutes to go?  That's nothing.  Less than 4 miles.  More like 3.5.  You've got this."

It was an interesting exercise.  I'm fairly certain this type of visualization and cross-functional mental training is not at all what Bikram has in mind for how I'm supposed to orient my thoughts (or lack thereof) during practice.  I'm also fairly certain it was *very* good mental training for the race.

This evening, I joined L and MeiMeiL for Ramen (carb-loading!) followed by a spa trip to Burke Williams.  Much like dropping out of the 10K, the pre-race massage is another super-smart pre-CIM move.  Thanks L!

My Shiatsu massage was amazing.  Pressure points to loosen my tight spots, and lots of stretching by the masseuse to confirm that I'm actually quite limber right now.  Some directed sports massage for my calves when she identified that they were tighter than any of the other muscles in my legs (hmmm... avoiding shin splints much?).  By the end, she'd worked through most of the knots and told me she thought I could stand to stretch my calves a bit, but that in her professional opinion, I was actually in fairly ideal shape for a serious physical effort, when it came to tension in the muscles.

So, In short, I feel good, and today's non-running physical activities confirm for me that it's reasonable that I do.

Last year at this point, I'd done much better training and was 6 lbs lighter.  But I was also very tight and full of pain in my hips and hamstrings, struggling through runs in the 10s and 11s to recover from a Thanksgiving Half Marathon, and nursing a cold and a bruised rib.  On paper, the last 3 weeks of this training cycle look *much* smarter (and luckier) than last year.

November 25, 2012

Putting It Out There

My heart started beating harder.  My hands started sweating.  My feet were hot.  Perhaps it was the hot herbal tea?

I walked out of the kitchen, through the living room, and into our bedroom suite.

Even away from the guests, a few deep breaths and my chest was still pounding and I could feel my visual field continue to shrink.  Things were *not* *right*.

I had nothing I could identify as a reasonable explanation.  I walked into a kitchen full of guests and said, “E, I’m not okay.  I’m really sorry everyone, but I think I need to go to the hospital.”

It was scary.  But they were all nice and polite and quiet.  At no point in the day did any anyone say anything about about me being overly dramatic, which in hindsight, is pretty impressive.

In our bedroom, where I would select the shoes to go to the hospital, which seemed a very important step in the process to me and my shaking hands for some reason, E took my pulse.  He asked me to breathe.  He asked me if I was having any other symptoms besides a fast, hard pulse and general anxiety.  I wasn’t.  No pain.  No shortness of breath.  Nothing except anxiety.   

As soon as he held me, and I found comfort pushing my rib cage against his (e.g. more than I would have where my diaphragm and ribs were unconfined) it was clear.  I had began to calm.  This was a garden variety anxiety attack.  And E was making it better (as all soul mates do).  I did not need to go to the hospital, I just needed to breathe.

But why?

I had one of my childhood best friends, her husband, my cousin, her husband and his sister as guests.  There was nothing remotely stressful about the current circumstances.  We were having Sunday pre-lunch tea, for goodness sake.  Is there anything less stressful than a pre-lunch herbal tea?  And yet, my body just freaked out.  Which freaked me out. Which freaked me out more…

They left.  I calmed down.  Lunch of ramen was fine.  It was clear that I was (physically) fine.  And, yet, for the rest of the day, I was egregiously tense.
  Unfortunately, my AM run was before my cousin’s arrival, so I couldn’t use a run as a shake out (and with a marathon 7 days away, I couldn’t just go run willy-nilly and throw in a de-stress run for fun either).

It wasn’t ‘til almost before dinner when telling E for the 5th time that the scariest part was that I couldn’t predict the anxiety attack that something finally made sense.  I’d had anxiety attacks before, but I could always point to why.  Then I started to cry.  

During her very abbreviated visit, Cousin had mentioned the quanset hut on our ancestral family farm multiple times.  Apparently, some of her wedding gifts are being stored there. 

She, of course, had no idea that some of my Dad’s dying words to me were to make sure that her father didn’t “pull a fast one” and deprive the rest of my Dad's siblings of their rightful inheritance (namely, the family ranch).  Apparently, there were some uncomfortable conversations between the 1st generation siblings close to Papa's death (and, unfortunately, close to dad's death as well) that made my father very uncomfortable about his brother's intentions.  He loved his brother with all of his being.  But he didn't feel that things were right, and when it became clear he was really sick, he asked me to look out for his kids (my siblings) after he was gone.

No pressure.

Since then, my uncle and his wife have bought their own land and moved back to the ancestral hometown and have graciously hosted me and E on multiple occasions as guests.  Compared to most of my friends at my age, my interactions with my uncle and aunt are almost as frequent as the ones my friends have with their parents.  We adore them.  My cousin's dad and his family do the majority of the heavy lifting of taking care of my dad’s mom on a day-to-day basis (although my dad's younger sister does do her share as well).   

I think, in some ways, my Cousin’s innocent words forced me to recognize that Dad had asked me to fight a fight on behalf of his kids that may no longer make sense.  Or maybe I just know that Papa’s (my grandfather’s) number one concern was taking care of Gran. I know this truth to my core, as did my Dad.  And my Uncle has done an amazing job of making certain this is achieved and continues to be achieved.  Perhaps the correct trade-off for this son-duty should be that he is the rightful heir and his daughter gets to store her wedding presents at the farm.  My dad did not make strong efforts to care for his mother during his life, and now he’s gone.  I wish it wasn't so, but it is.  

Today, after a crying breakdown (which was very cathartic and released quite a bit of pent up stress) I admitted to E that it’s very likely my father would have a different perspective on the current state of his ancestral family stuff than the last one he shared with me when he was still here.

But he’s not here to share it. 

And, that, more than anything, is what hurts so much.

In happier news, I'm no longer shocked at the "unexpected" anxiety attack.  Many tears later, I think it was a long time coming and the ridiculously cathartic release makes sense.  I can only hope that my cousin and her husband and his sister don't hold it against me.  Either way, I feel much better.

CIM Week -1

This week did not go according to plan, but I think it'll be okay, in the end.

After some awesome intervals at the track on Tuesday, I started to feel like I might be getting shin splints.

So, I took Wednesday off entirely and bailed on my scheduled Turkey Trot, replacing that fun with watching the elites.

Lots of icing, compression socks, and hoping for the best.

I did 45 minutes of power yoga instead of my Thursday run. I'd forgotten just how many pushups are in a session of power yoga. My arms are still sore.

Friday, I tested my legs with a nice easy 3 miles at 9:34. They felt okay. But I iced again just to be sure.

Saturday, I woke bright and cheery with no pain in my legs, so I headed out for my last long run of the cycle, 1.7 to L's house @ 9:50; 4.87 with L @ 9:52; 1 @ 10:17 (ate my gel) to the track; and the last 1.32 @ an easy and sustainable 9:25. I walked a bit to cooldown for a total of 9.64 miles.

Today, I did 3 miles with E (the longest distance he's ever run): 9:50; 9:45; 9:07.  A little walking to cool down and the week is done.

Assuming the weather is okay, I feel fairly good about my plan to head out with the 4:10 group and a goal of running steady 9:30s for as long as I am able to do so.

The weather prediction is alternating between showers and overcast.  I'm just hoping it'll firm up on the overcast side of things by race day.

7 days to go.

November 22, 2012

November 21, 2012

Easing Off

Last night, speedwork at the track was great, cardiovascular-wise. 4 X 1000 @ 8:10ish and each one was nice and easy on the lungs and heart.  I felt like I could have done mile repeats or longer at that pace without any additional trouble, when it comes to blood, oxygen, and energy.

Unfortunately, blood, oxygen, and energy aren't the only things that matter with running.

Turns out, my left hip, my right hamstring, and my left tibialis were all *pissed* at me.  Even with the Monday rest day, the weekend's total mileage of 26.6 as the tail end of 3 consecutive 40+ mileage weeks after a lazy year of non-high-volume was a bit much, apparently.  I'm good about listening to my body when it's mad, so, I cut off the last interval and called it at 4 instead of 5.  I definitely could have finished the 5th one, but it felt like the right thing to do.  Perhaps I should have stopped earlier, but I was excited about how easy the pace felt and I hadn't had a fun fast track workout in so long -- I didn't want it to end.  I just felt so effortless and I was imaging how Thursday's 10K Turkey Trot was going to be great.

Except, of course, the inflammation and annoying pain in the joints that are not happy with me just kept increasing over the course of the evening.  By bedtime, I predicted to E that I probably shouldn't race the 10K Turkey Trot (thank goodness the registration fee goes to support local food banks, so I don't feel like I'm wasting anything), but that maybe I'd run it slowly.

Then, I woke no less than 4 times in the middle of the night with shin pain on my left leg.  This was *not* good.  A smarter person than me would have taken an anti-inflammatory on one of those wake-ups.  I just rubbed my leg and fell back asleep.

Today, I woke and iced immediately.  I took a rest day (actually, I tried to go to Bikram, but my local studio is very good about locking out the late people who can't get their shit together and would interrupt class without a locked door to stop them.  I took it as a sign and wrote off the rest of the day, workout-wise).  Instead of working out, I won the Chinese foot spa lottery and actually got a masseuse who knew her stuff.  She worked magic on my shins and feet and calves.

Come dinner, I was feeling better, wanting to race, but, also suspicious and concerned I could really screw up CIM if I did so. At dinner, my left shin suddenly started to throb again after at least 6 hours of comfort.  I looked down to see that my foot was resting on the disk supporting the table. A one-inch incline in my foot position from heel to toe could cause throbbing even though I didn't even realize my foot was in a weird position.

It was time to own it: I'm on the edge of getting shin splints.

So, I iced again after dinner and I'm not running the 10K tomorrow.  I know myself.  If I start it, I'll finish it, even if I'm in pain and it's stupid to do so.  Also, given my cardiovascular ability to run faster than I have in a while (while being heavier than I usually am when I can run this fast), I'm likely to do something really stupid and run too fast and injure myself.  So, I'm cutting myself off.

Instead, I'm going to do a hip-opening power-yoga home DVD and I'm going to go watch the Elite races at the Fastest Turkey Trot in the Country for inspiration.

As much as this decision sucks, I'm proud of myself for being honest about what I need to do to give myself the best chance of having a good race at CIM.

November 19, 2012

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Oh, how much I miss you, Dad.

This morning, on the 7th Birthday you should have experienced since you left us, I asked E if we could have a celebratory dinner for your birthday.  Of course, to honor you (and always enjoying celebrations in your style), he said "Hell, yes."

I asked what he thought you'd like us to do (and, by extension, what he would prefer to do):

1. go to Tied House, your favorite restaurant in our 'hood?
2. stick to our menu plan (cheesy mushroom risotto) but augment with a beer from your favorite brewery?
3. blow off the veggie risotto in favor of some meat?

E, predictably, opted for #2 and #3.  Just like you would have.  I, of course, insisted on a salad to go with the meat, as you would have complained about me doing, and then you would have eaten it first, just like E did.

Also, after stopping at 3 liquor stores who didn't carry Mendocino Brewing Company Ales, I sucked it up and went to BevMo to get the Red Tail to go along with the meal so we could toast you properly. You were right, it is *really* *special* stuff. It's hard to come by, even here. I got some pleasure knowing that you enjoyed my 3 failures and looks of confusion from each clerk before I went home, looked it up online, and actually went somewhere I knew would have it.

So, happy birthday Dad.  We miss you:



P.S.  If you get a minute, you should go peek in on the new incarnation of our local butcher where I got the fillets. I think you'd like their style.

10,000 Miles

I started keeping track of my running & walking mileage in 2004.

I count any and all miles on my feet that I can record and obsessively add them to my spreadsheet.  In addition to data from the Garmin or treadmill, I also go to gmap-pedometer.com and trace walks to dinner and any walking I do while traveling and site-seeing where I don't have my Garmin.

This week, I crossed a total of 10,000 miles since I started keeping track.

Those 10,000 miles have destroyed 20 pairs of running shoes over 7.5 years in 16 countries, and include 13 10Ks, 31 half-marathons, and 7 marathons (with another 10K and marathon coming up in the next 2 weeks.)

Not bad for someone who used to believe that they didn't like running.

I think it's safe to say I've changed my mind.

November 18, 2012

CIM week -2

43.9 miles for the week.  The highest mileage week of the year, and very unlikely I'll beat it given where I'm headed. Mostly great, with a few over-training hiccups.  All-in-all, I'm ready for my taper and the race.  Also, it's time to start the weather dances (C.I.M. -- Cool. No. Wind. No. Rain...!).

Monday: 6 easy @ 10:02 avg. but with the last mile at 9:01 + 0.16 walking c/d.  Not bad.

Tuesday: Treadmill interval attempt.  3X 0.5 @ 8:00/mile @ 0.5% incline with 0.25 walking recovery @ 15:00/mile and it just felt wrong, tight, overloaded, and likely to hurt myself.  I stopped the 4th interval at 0.25 and walked the last 0.75 @ 2.0%.  When I got home, I realized this was my 8th day of running in a row without a break, the most mileage I'd done in 7 consecutive days in over a year, and I had 2 more days of running on track before I had a rest day.  Yup, I felt good about my decision.

Wednesday:  2.75 w/E @ 9:46 + 0.48 walking c/d in the AM.  Bikram, full series, all poses in the PM.  This day showed me that I was in *much* better shape than I'd been in for quite some time.  It also felt like a reward for my discretion on Tuesday.

Thursday:  Easy run with my old running buddy who's finally returning to the game.  It was so great to catch up with her and enjoy the easy (cold!) AM miles.  0.17 walk; 3.52 @ 10:43; 0.13 walk c/d.

Friday:  Rest.  30 minutes PM Yoga with E.  First day off running in 10 days.  Longest streak in a year. (I'm not really a running streaker, can you tell?)

Saturday:  4 @ 9:26 while listening to my audiobook.  Heavenly.  Easy breath and effort.  For the first time, I started to trust that maybe, just maybe, my goal of 9:30 average mile pace for the marathon wasn't in crazy town.  0.12 walk c/d.

Sunday:  Jen and I did 22.6 total including the walking cool down.  We'd planned for 20, but there were some bathroom and water fountain detours that extended the route.  This is the big issue with a point-to-point.  Once you are committed to the starting point and the end point, you are committed, and even if you detour off the most direct route, you still have to get to the finishing point.  This is very different from an out and back or a loop where you can modify, which is good to remember.  The actual so-called *run* portion for me was 20.81 @ 11:08 with all the walking breaks.  When I drop the walking breaks, I get to 20.08 @ 3:34:08 or 10:40/mile.  Medium effort.  Not bad at all.  I'm feeling tentatively confident for CIM, which is a *huge* improvement over just a short while ago.

2 weeks to go, wish me luck!

November 14, 2012

Unexpected Gift!

On Trac just dropped a package.

I opened it and found the most unexpected and appreciated gift.

Even better, I can think of several people who would know that I could really use this, but I have no idea who it is from!

Hey unexpected gift-giver who knows me well -- Thanks So Much!   You Made My Day!


November 11, 2012

CIM week -3

In the homestretch and this was the best running week I've had in long time.  Possibly the best in the last year.

I had a great interval workout, a solid mid-length pseudo progression run, and yesterday, a *beautiful* run with Jen.

Yesterday's weather report predicted AM showers, but it was wrong.  I arrived at Cesar Chavez Park to crisp, beautiful blue skies and clear views of the bay, the Golden Gate bridge, the Bay Bridge and the various parks and trails along the way.  I ran around the park twice to try to pre-load my run and I managed 2.87 before I saw Jen.  Then, we were off and babbling at each other for just a little over 2 hours.  We knocked out a steady (but more important *enjoyable*) 12 miles.

Despite never having met in person, we had tons to talk about and the time just flew by.  I haven't met a blog friend in the meat world in a very long time (not since 2006).  This was definitely the highlight of my week.

We split up at the very end and I closed out the last little bit to get myself to the total 15.  All told, I averaged 10:53, with the earlier miles on the faster side and the later ones relaxing into a more mellow pace.  This 15 was *so* much easier than the 15 two weeks ago. Pysically, but also, emotionally and mentally. Solo long runs are often hard for me to do. Running is supposed to be the thing I do to rest and recover from the stresses in my life, but some parts of the solo long runs may be contrary to that goal.  I'm thrilled to have a new running buddy.

Last night was E's birthday.  C's in town, so she offered to be my sous-chef and we made 3 lasagnas and a gigantic bowl of steamed broccoli.  With 10 people (11 if you count babyG), it was the largest sit down dinner we've ever hosted outside of family thanksgivings.  We replaced the coffee table with the kitchen table and the folding table in an L shape.  We used sheets for table cloths and mixed our kitchen chairs with an office chair and folding chairs. It was a great time and so much fun and I very much appreciate all of the folks who made an effort to join us on a Saturday evening.  I was very happy to give E a birthday party I know he enjoyed as his birthday present.  Major wife points for me!

And then, to cap it off, this morning, I drove over to L's at 8 AM and we knocked out 3 miles while chatting at an average pace of 9:27.  The ease of this AM's run the day after 15 miles plus a party of heavy food and wine was a big help to my confidence, which is *exactly* why I mucked with my training plan for CIM.

41.74 miles total this week (most this year), 6 consecutive days of running, and I'm feeling much, much better about the race.

November 9, 2012

Wacky Day

Yesterday was a wacky day.

I had to buy a typewriter to solve a random client emergency.  They still sell them at Office Max.


Because of the random client emergency, I didn't do nearly as much work as I'd like, so today is going to be an annoying Friday.  I'm *definitely* going to get my invoices out today.  The 9th is *much* later than I like to get them out, but sometimes work and life just get in the way and I just have to deal with it.

Given the work madness and the rain yesterday, I seriously considered bailing on my 8 mile run.  Finally, I made a deal with myself.  I'd go to the gym.  I'd do it on the treadmill.  And I wouldn't give myself any grief if I had to do some walking because getting the midweek 8 under my feet was important this close to the marathon.

Thanks to the audiobook Life, I was reasonably well entertained and I think it was a pretty good workout, even if it involved several pauses to walk to the water fountain and was much different than the 8 without stopping I'd imagined on our local trail.

1 @ 10 min/mile; 0.5% incline; bathroom break
1 @ 9:50/0.5
1 @ 9:41/0.5
0.1 @ 4.0/0.5 walk; water break
1 @ 9:31/0.5
1 @ 9:23/0.5
0.1@ 4.0/0.5 walk
0.25 @ 9:14/0.5
0.25 @ 9:05/0.5
0.3 @ 8:57/0.5; water break
0.25 @ 4.0/0.5 walk
1 @  8:57/0.5; water break
0.75 @ 3.5/1.0 walk

Total = 8 miles, in a weird, broken up progression run format.

When I got home, I was starving.  For red meat.  I like meat, but I tend to eat at least 50% vegetarian.  I don't intentionally space out my meat consumption on any schedule, I just eat it when it sounds good, which is much less often than it does for the average American.  For some reason, it must not have seemed remotely attractive in a while because when I did the mental check, I realized I hadn't had any animal protein since the lox bagel after my 20-miler on Sunday.  And, I hadn't had any red meat since, well, I actually couldn't remember.  It had probably been at least a week and a half.  So I called in an order for Thai pepper beef, Tom Yum with shrimp, and E and I devoured it with gusto.  Even so, I woke up this AM still starvin' like Marvin.  

Like I said, yesterday was a weird day.

November 6, 2012

A Great Way To Watch The Election

E had a business dinner tonight. I had 10 X 400 at 7:24/mile on my modified schedule.  Yikes. I hadn't done a speed workout that intense in at least a year.  Possibly longer.  (FYI -- FIRST wanted me to do 10 X 400 at 1:49 or 7:16/mile)

I felt great today.  And it was only 2 days after my longest run so far this training cycle.  (Note to self: icing the sore bits after a long run is a *very* good idea.)

Thanks to daylight savings and work, there was no way I was getting to the track before dark. Instead, after a long day of work and a 1.1 mile walking warmup phone chat with my childhood best friend R, I headed to the gym and slogged my way through all 10 reps on the treadmill while the states changed colors on the TVs, making sure not to start measuring each interval until the treadmill was up to 8.1 mph (7:24 min/mile) so as not to cut the distance short.

It was a good, solid workout.  Difficult, but totally doable.  I probably could have done more and/or faster. And that's the whole trick -- Successfully completing training at levels that are sufficient stimulus to cause improvement without overtraining or injuring yourself.

Man, my confidence just needed this workout.  Also, this AM before lunch and PM after the workout I confirmed that it's not a fluke, I've actually dropped about 2 pounds in the last 2 weeks.

All of this makes me feel very happy about recognizing that I needed to modify my training approach despite the minimal amount of time left in the training cycle.

Onward.

November 5, 2012

CIM Week -4

First week over 40 miles this year?  40.55 including some walking?  Why yes, I'll take it as the 2012 high water mark, thank you.

Today's US half (my 8th time starting this race in a row) plus additional mileage was instructive, and I think I have a good set of *reasonable* CIM goals now.

I seem to be struggling with gastrointestinal issues this year in a way I haven't in the past.  It started in February with my enjoyable failure at the Kasier Half Marathon. Nothing traumatic on any occasion, but it's been happening on a semi-regular basis this year on long runs and races and when it does, it sure slows me down.

Today, I took a 5 minute bathroom break at the turn-around point at the Golden Gate bridge, including an extra 0.25 miles of jogging and questioning the non-English-speaking run volunteers for directions, which was super frustrating, because I knew Wei(4) and Jian(1) but I had forgotten the middle tone and syllable.   Thankfully, after a while, repeating "toilet, please" and doing a suggestive dance seemed to do the trick.  The silver lining is I doubt I'll forget wèishēngjiān (Mandarin for toilet) ever again. 

I'm going to do some historical research to figure out what I'm doing that's different than in years past on my races and long runs, in terms of food.  From what I've found so far, when I was younger, food just didn't matter.  I mean, on my 31st birthday I did a Sub 2 half after a multi-course Italian dinner of celebration, pasta, cheese, truffles and wine. Ahhh... to be young again.  This time, I struggled after a dinner of pasta pomodoro and non-alcoholic beer.

I do know that a lunch of a light salad and soup or a sandwich, with a bit of easily digestible protein and spicy broth-based noodle soup for dinner is probably the best pre-race option for me.  I'll try to make that happen for CIM. 

Today's long run was good.  1.5 miles easy jogging to the start.  The Garmin claims the race was 13.38 @ 10:47 including a 5 minute pit stop and some slower hills and crowded aid stations.  If I remove the pit stop it was 10:12/mile.  Not bad at all since I reigned myself in because I knew I had several more miles at the end -- almost all of the running was at 10 min/mile or faster, including 4 miles at sub 9:45.  My final miles were 0.5 jogged back to the hotel slow and then the remaining 3.65 on the treadmill as 1.5 miles @ 10 minutes/mile; bathroom break; 1 mile @ 10 minutes/mile; 0.15 walk; final 1 mile @ 10 min/mile.  The 0.25 walk to and from brunch got me over 19.

All told, 19.23.  Not the scheduled 20.  But I feel very good about it.  In particular, I was glad to do the last bit on the treadmill near the bathroom (because I needed it *again*) and because the TM is very helpful at forcing you to keep the pace. Also, I was sore enough to ice twice today (so far).

I understand that this race is quite lame compared to last year's 2:06 for the same race.  But, I didn't *race* and it was much warmer (high of 79F vs. last year's high of 59F).  Even so, there weren't any bridge construction slow downs or the extra hills at the turn around this year.  The reality is, I am nowhere even *close* to the level of fitness I was at this point last year.

So, my new CIM goals are as follows:

1.  Eat to avoid any race-day digestion issues.
2.  Run an even or negative split race.  I'm trying to decide between starting with the 4:10 group or the 4:25 group or going it alone somewhere in the middle.  I'll likely have to decide this one closer to the actual race based on pacing for my last 20-miler and the remaining mid-length tempo runs.

Wish me luck.

Also, send good thoughts to those on the east coast recovering from Sandy.  I was proud to be a runner while reading about how well the running community dealt with the news of NYC's marathon cancellation (despite the fact that it should have been announced earlier).