September 23, 2003

Now that's Important

One of my friends recently started dating one of my other friends. When I was younger that was the kind of thing that happened all the time. Incestuous friend relationships. Drama when they ended...ahh...youth. Now, I'm just happy for 'em to have found someone they like.

Last night, amidst the wine, the same friend mentioned that he's so much happier now, since he had been single for quite a while. We had a long talk about how many straight men in the valley are single. Men in the bay area outnumber the women, particularly at bars, and other pick-up joints. Women, on the other hand, or at least the ones I know, are more likely than not to be in long term relationships. I was surprised to find that many of my fellow students were hitched or involved in long-term relationships. Even some of the younger kids have significant others of several years.

So, I've got a lot of friends in software, and hence I know a ton of single men. And many of 'em are depressed about it. Most of 'em rarely mention it. And many of 'em are so cerebral that they think they shouldn't be depressed about it, because, how important can having a girl/woman/significant other in your life be when you have no other problems? Good job, money, friends, health. These are not the guys who complain that they can't get laid. I'm sure most of 'em wouldn't mind, but most of 'em would rather find a companion (who they could have sex with, as well), as cheesy as that sounds. But most of 'em don't ever admit it.

As I've aged, I've realized that very few things are more important in my life than E. I wouldn't want it any other way. What's gone wrong when people try to think their way out of millions of years of evolution that tells them they should find a mate? Perhaps if they acknowledged how depressed they were about the situation they would do something to change it. Or, maybe not. That's the sad fact. When the numbers are against 'em, maybe they are being smart by pretending it doesn't matter. I don't know. I just can't believe how lucky I am. This is the kind of thing that keeps me up late with wine instead of to bed early and to class on time.

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